Runaway
by It's the voices' fault
Summary: After the final battle, Harry runs away to the muggle world. Years later, he's forced to come back, and who else does he stay with then the mean old potions master. HPSS SLASH!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own HP.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

"Everyone! Calm down and stop screaming!" Harry yelled over the chaos of screaming students in the Great Hall. No one heard him, however. He looked over to Ron and Hermione, who was standing with a group of seventh year Gryffindors and all of the prefects. Being Head Boy, he knew he should be with them, trying to help them come up with a plan in case the Death Eaters got inside the castle. But he also knew that the students should be kept calm and quiet, so as to be able to hear and obey any instructions given to them.

Sighing, he pointed his wand at his throat and whispered _sonorous. _When he spoke again, his voice went through the Hall and could be heard from all corners.

"Quiet!" The students all quit yelling and looked at him. Nodding with satisfaction, he pointed his wand to his throat and murmured _quietus_. He spoke in his normal voice, though loud enough for them all to hear.

"Listen. We have to stay calm. You need to be able to hear us in case we have something important to say. I want you to sit down and stay quiet." he watched as they went and sat in groups. None of the groups had members of different houses, though, and Harry felt a touch of anger, but he kept his voice calm when he spoke again. "For the past few years, the sorting hat has told us that in order to defeat Voldemort," a shiver went through the room, "we have to stand together. We cannot fight alone, we need help from the other houses. Each house has its strengths and weaknesses. Fighting separately, they will win. If we join together, though, one houses strength could help another's weakness.

"We need a plan. Something to help us in case the Death Eaters get into the school. If anyone, I don't care if they're in Slytherin, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff, has any ideas, then come tell us."

He walked over to the group that still stood together. Ron was staring at him in shock, not able to believe that Harry had told the Slytherins that their help was welcomed. Hermione was smiling at him approvingly.

"Have you thought of anything yet?"

Hermione was about to speak, but Seamus got to it first and said loud enough for the whole Great Hall to hear. "Yes! Everyone's going to strip down and we'll have one big orgy!"

The soft chatter that had been going on between the students ceased and everybody stared at him in horror. All was silent for a few minutes before someone spoke from behind Harry.

"Though that delightful idea of yours would have the reaction we need, Finnegan, I don't think it would work."

Seamus gasped indignantly. "And I suppose you have a better idea?"

"Actually, I do."

Harry felt Ron tense up beside him and saw Seamus start to walk once to the speaker. Not wanting a riot to start, Harry shot a look at both boys before turning around. Standing there, and looking as though he owned the world, was Blaise Zabini. The dark haired boy was smirking as he looked Seamus up and down.

"What's your plan?" Harry asked.

"Harry! Are you really…"

"Be quiet Ron. I meant what I said. Ideas are welcomed, no matter what house they come from. If we don't try to get along with the Slytherins, then no one else will try to make any attempts." His eyes had never left Blaise's. "So, Zabini, what's your plan?"

Blaise smiled slightly, but it couldn't be seem because of the smirk. "Weasley dresses up like a girl. It'll disgust them so badly that they'll be to shocked to attack, giving everyone enough time to escape."

"You've got to be kidding, Zabini!" Ron yelled. "I didn't think anyone was worse then Malfoy, but I was wrong!"

"Thank you."

Ron glared at him, then turned to Harry. "See what happens when you tell Slytherins that they can help? They try to get everyone else killed!"

"Chill out, Strawberry," Blaise said. "I was kidding."

"Did you just call me Strawberry?"

"Yes. Take it as a name of endearment, I like strawberries."

Before Ron could say anything back, Seamus spoke. "Wow! You do look like a strawberry. A big, red, juicy, delicious strawberry that I would love to sink my teeth into." He was silent for a moment, then, "Can we _please_ have an orgy!"

"Tell you what, Finnegan," Blaise said. "If we live through this, I'll give you a whole night of pleasure…but just the two of us."

"Really?" Seamus asked, smiling like he was about to be given an early birthday present.

"No." He looked back at Harry. "We'll need to get the younger students out of here. It might be best if they were to go to the Room of Requirement, since most people don't know about it. Two of the prefects could lead them there. As for the older ones, it would be helpful if some of them were to stay here and help hold off anyone who breaks in."

Harry thought it through for a moment. They'd be going against McGonagall's orders by leaving, but it was their best chance of the students surviving the attack. He nodded. "Alright. The professors won't be happy about this, though."

"What!" Ron yelled. "You're actually going to do this? He's a bloody Slytherin and Malfoy's best friend! He could be leading us into a trap!"

Harry turned to Ron. "I know that, but at the moment, it's our only option. I'm sorry, but we'll have to trust him."

"Speak for yourself. The day I trust a Slytherin is the day I die."

Harry looked at him sadly before turning to the Hufflepuff prefects. After I speak to them, I want you to lead them to the Room of Requirement." He took the Marauders map from his back pocket and handed it to one of them, explaining how to use it. "You two will be in charge of the students. Keep them together and make sure they stay calm. After this is over, give the map to me, Ron, or Hermione."

"Yes, sir," the boy said, causing Harry to raise an eyebrow at him. "You're our leader, and all leaders deserve respect," he explained. Harry seemed taken aback by this, but quickly recovered.

Harry went to stand in front of the students, the group, including Blaise, following him. He saw that all eyes were on him, each student expecting him to know what to do. "The Hufflepuff prefects will lead you to the Room of Requirement. You're to stay together and stay calm. If you have any questions or concerns, approach them, hopefully they'll be able to answer them. I need to ask if any sixth or seventh years will volunteer to stay here with the rest of us to make sure that the Death Eaters do not get close to the other students. Those who want to stay, only out of the sixth and seventh years, stay put while the others leave." He nodded to the two prefects who lead the students out.

Once they were gone, Harry stood there in surprise. He had only expected one or two, if any, students to stay. Instead, there were four Slytherins, not counting Blaise, three Hufflepuffs, six Ravenclaws, and all of the Gryffindors. He smiled at them. "Thank you for staying. I'm not sure whether or not the Death Eaters will make it into the castle or not, but it's better safe than sorry. Hopefully, the professors and Aurors will be able to stop them outside. In the case that we do have to fight, I want you to be careful. Don't go in recklessly, wanting revenge for family or friends. You need to have a clear head. _Do not act irrationally._ I've done this countless times, and it never pays off. If they taunt you, ignore it. Remember that you're best chance at winning is by keeping calm. If you let your anger get the better of you, it clouds your mind and your more likely to make mistakes. I also want you to help each other, no matter what house your in and they're in. We need to work together and trust each other."

He hoped that they listened to him and took his advise. He'd hate to have any of the students die. He turned to the group that stood behind him. "Now all we have to do is wait."

Seamus grinned. "How about we do something to pass the time?"

"As long as it doesn't involve an orgy," Blaise remarked, causing Seamus to pout.

"I agree," Hermione said. "Seamus, no more mentioning orgies. Maybe we could play some kind of game."

"Boring," that was one of the Slytherins, who was listening in on their conversation. Everybody was.

"It's either that or we study. I brought my potions and transfiguration…"

"Hermione! We're in the middle of a battle!" Ron complained. "Do we _have _to talk about schoolwork?"

"You still haven't even finished your homework, Ron. It's due tomorrow."

Ron rolled his eyes. "I think I have a good excuse to not have it in."

"Ron!"

"Well, I _do_." He turned to Harry. "I still don't see why we have to accept help from the Slytherins."

"We need as much help as we can get."

"They might be working for Voldemort! Just like Malfoy had!"

"I told you that Malfoy couldn't kill Dumbledore! He might've even ended up working for the Order."

"You need to stop trusting so many people, Harry! Doing so could end up killing you!"

"If I didn't trust so many people, we wouldn't even be friends!"

Before Ron could retort to that, there was a loud bang and the doors to the Great Hall burst open. Standing in the doorway was four Death Eaters who wore masks, Snape, Draco Malfoy, and Voldemort himself. Everyone looked at them in shock, then fear.

Everyone's eyes then went to Harry, as if expecting him to tell them what to do. Harry didn't have time to give out orders, though, since Death Eaters started attacking, throwing spells at the students. A few weren't ready for them and fell to the ground. Others, however, deflected the spells and sent some of their own.

The group behind Harry moved forward to join the fray, one of them bumping his shoulder hard as he passed. Without looking, Harry knew it was Ron. Harry stayed put, his eyes never leaving Voldemort, who stared back at him with hatred.

Seeing that Harry wasn't going to make the first move, Voldemort took a step towards him, ignoring the battle raging around him.

Still, Harry didn't move. From the corner of his eye, he saw Snape and Draco on either side of Blaise, wands out and pointed at the Death Eaters, who stood there in shock, for a moment, that the two turned sides. Across the hall was Ron and Hermione, back to back, throwing spells at the two they were fighting. He was happy to see some of the Gryffindors fighting beside Slytherins, and even a few Slytherins stop Death Eaters from attacking Gryffindors. It looked as though the houses put aside their differences, at least until the end of the battle.

He brought his attention back to Voldemort, who was getting closer. Unlike the other times they fought, Harry wanted Voldemort to come to him. No more would he play heroic and rush in without thinking. No more was he going to let his feelings get the better of him. This time, he was going to keep a clear head, ignoring the things around him, he wouldn't let himself get distracted. If he was going to die to day, he wanted everyone to know it wasn't because he was a foolish Gryffindor who couldn't keep his head on his shoulders.

Finally, Voldemort attacked. Harry dodged the curse by dropping to the floor. Before he even touched the ground, he cast Petrificus Totalus, but Voldemort put up a shield.

In the back of his mind, a voice whispered, **_You have to fight fire with fire, Potter. He'll be able to block everything else, but he won't expect you to use the Unforgivables. It's the only way. _**

Harry was startled for a moment. The voice sounded familiar, one that he heard on a daily bases before the year before. Harry looked over at Snape, who went on with the fight. But Harry was sure it was his voice. _How am I supposed to do something I've never done before?_ He thought to himself, not even sure if he was expecting an answer, but he got one.

**_Feeling sorry for yourself, Potter? That won't do. You need anger…_**

_But…_

_**LISTEN! Do not interrupt. You have to keep a hold of the anger. Now, think of all the things he's done to you, focus and push it all into your wand by visualizing what's happening, then cast the curse. You do the same thing for all three. Don't allow self-pity or any other rubbish into your mind.**_

****Harry refrained from rolling his eyes. Not taking his attention off of Voldemort, he thought of all the times he ruined his life. If it weren't for him, Harry would have a normal life with his parents. He would've been raised by a family that loved him; he would've never been subjected to live with at the Dursley's.

"CRUCIO!" The curse shot out of Harry's wand and hit Voldemort in the chest. A feeling of power rushed through him at the sight of Voldemort falling to the ground and withering in pain. He kept the curse on him for a minute, and then removed it.

He immediately began to think of the other things Voldemort had done: he had taken Ginny into the Chamber of Secrets and had planned on killing her to bring himself to life, he had put his name into the Goblet of Fire, had killed Cedric, he had tricked him into going to the Ministry of Magic, causing Sirius' death, and he had caused Dumbledore's death also.

Before Voldemort had even gotten up off of the ground, Harry yelled, "AVADA KADAVRA!" A flash of green was seen throughout the room and a loud thump as Voldemort's dead body hit the floor. Harry sank to the ground and looked around. Death Eaters were rushing to get out of the school. The bodies of both students and Death Eaters were lying on the floor. Snape was helping Blaise off of the ground and began checking him over. Blaise said something that made Snape let go of him and leave quickly to check on others. Seamus immediately ran to the boy who was leaning against the wall and Harry could clearly hear him say, "Are you _sure_ you don't want to have sex, since we both survived?" Harry couldn't hear what Blaise said, however.

He found Hermione and his blood ran cold. She sat on the floor, her legs crossed, and Ron's head in her lap. Harry ran to them and dropped down beside them. Hermione was crying, so he put his arms around her. He would grieve later, but for now he knew he needed to make sure she was okay.

He noticed Draco sitting on her other side and whispering things to her. He raised his eyebrow at him, but Draco ignored him. Lying in front of them was the body of Lucius Malfoy.

"Hermione?"

She looked up at him, her eyes red. "Do you want me to carry you to the infirmary? Madam Pomfrey is there and she can give you some dreamless sleep potion."

She nodded and he moved Ron's head from her lap and lifted her up. Draco rose with them.

"You'll need me in case there's more in the corridors," was all he said before leading them out of the Great Hall.

As soon as Hermione was in the infirmary and asleep, Draco tried to speak, but Harry beat him to it. "Don't say anything. I have to go see to something. Will you watch over her?"

Draco looked shocked for a moment, but nodded.

"Thanks."

As soon as the door closed behind him, he took off at a run and went to the Gryffindor Tower. He went to his dormitory and threw all of his stuff into his trunk. He shrunk it, grabbed his broom, and left the castle quietly. He flew to Hogsmeade and landed in an alley way where no one could see him. He apperated.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Well, I hoped you liked it. I know that I have so many other stories to work on, but when one of those stupid voices get an idea in his/her head, they never leave me alone until I write it. I think that I'm actually going to enjoy writing this one. Tell me what you think, all it takes is a small click on the go button below. It'll make me want to get up chapter one faster.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own HP.

Harry smiled as his boyfriend crawled across the bed to him, his blonde hair hanging in his face, blue eyes bright as they stared at him. He had been dating Mathew for nearly three years, but had owed the man his life for longer. When he had ran away from Hogwarts five years before, he had ended up alone on the streets, not even able to get his money out of Gringotts, knowing that that would be one of the first places they looked for him.

After two weeks, Harry had been dragged into an alley by three men. There had never been any doubt in his mind what would have happened if Mathew hadn't shown up and scared them away. He was then taken to Mathew's apartment and offered a place to live, as long as he helped with the rent. Harry had agreed readily. He didn't want to go back out onto the streets; didn't want his life to be in any more danger than it had already been in since he was a baby.

The two had become immediate friends, though they were completely different. Harry, though naïve sometimes, was the mature one who kept his feet firmly on the ground. Mathew, though, was all trouble. Not bad trouble, but like the Weasley twins, always crossing lines and learning new ways to prank people. He would rather spend the day daydreaming and making plans on who and how to prank someone than sit down and read, like Harry had taken to doing when he needed to relax and clear his head.

Finally reaching him, Mathew kissed Harry, gently at first, but then more urgently. He ran his tongue along Harry's, who immediately opened to him. The feel of his tongue against Mathew's, though nothing new, was just as overwhelming and exciting as the first time.

When Mathew pulled away, he smiled down at Harry. "You never change, you know that," he whispered hoarsely. "Your always so eager, but still so innocent."

Harry snorted at that. "Innocent? It still amazes me that after all these years, you still don't know me as well as you should."

Mathew leant down and bit Harry lightly on the ear. "Only because you won't tell me about your past. You just shake your head, say you had a rough childhood and that you don't want to talk about it."

"And I still don't. It's painful for me, I never even told my best friends everything that happened to me, everything I went through."

"You should trust me, though. You should know that I would protect you, help you get through it."

"I trust you with my life."

"But not with your memories."

Sighing, Harry sat up. "We've been through this over and over again. Can't you just accept that I don't want to talk about it."

"No. I've told you everything there is to know about me. You should do the same for me."

"You're not going to let up tonight, are you?"  
Mathew shook his head.

"Fine," Harry said, pushing Mathew gently off of him and standing up. "I'm going to sleep in my room."

"What! You haven't slept in there for two years!"

"Because you usually don't pester me about this."

He, too, stood up, glaring at Harry. "You're angry at me for wanting to know more about you! It isn't right! You always do stuff like this, Harry! Sometimes I think you're just using me, even after all I've done for you!"

"Using you? How could you think that?" he grabbed Mathew's hips lightly and pulled him as close to him as he could and kissed him lightly. "I love you more than anything, Mathew. You know that. You helped me through those first few years while I was still getting over everything. Because of you, I was able to put my past behind me."

"If it was truly behind you, you would be willing to talk about it, at least to me."

Harry didn't say anything. Truth was, Mathew was right. It was harder than he had thought it would be. He had killed too many people to count in the fights before the final battle against Voldemort. His best friend had died, and he hadn't been able to do anything. For all he knew, Draco could've killed Hermione the second he had left them. He didn't even want to wonder about how many of his other friends had been killed in the battle.

At night, he dreamt of the battles, of the people who died because of him. During those hours, Mathew would be there, holding him close. One dream plagued him more than all the other's, though. A dream that had nothing to do with Voldemort. A dream about his last summer with the Dursley's, of the large dark shadow that had tied his hands to his bedpost after hitting him hard enough to stun him and tie his arms and legs to the bedpost, then ripping his clothes off of him. What his uncle had done to him hurt him more than the crucio curse, because it wasn't only physical pain, but emotional.

"I'm sorry," he whispered finally. "But I just can't talk about it." He rested his head against Mathew's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Mathew's arms immediately went around him. "No, don't be. I knew you couldn't talk about it, and I still wouldn't give up." He kissed him on the top of his head. "I'll try not to bug you about it anymore."

"Thanks."  
"Let's get back to bed, you should get some sleep. After all, you've got that big meeting with your boss tomorrow. Hopefully you'll get that promotion."

Harry gave him a small smile as his hand was grabbed and he was being pulled back into bed. Once they we in bed, Harry curled up next to Mathew, he whispered, "I love you."  
"I love me, too," Mathew answered with a teasing smile.

"Git."

"But you wouldn't have me any other way."

Severus Snape paced in front of McGonagall's desk, his normally greasy hair washed clean and pulled back out of his face by a black band, his black cloaks flowing behind him, and his dark eyes held a spark of anger.

"What do you mean, you haven't found him yet, Minerva?"

"I mean just that. We've looked everywhere in the muggle and magical worlds, Harry isn't anywhere, though."

"It's been five years!"

"You know him just as well as I do. Once he gets a notion in his head, he won't let go. I still don't get why you're so intent on finding him, you have always hated him simply because of James."  
"I was supposed to watch him, make sure he was okay during the battle." He finally slide into a chair in front of her desk. "I should've anticipated that he would run away, but it never crossed my mind."

"None of us knew that he would run away, Severus. Don't blame yourself. He's alive, I know that much. His will to live out lasts even that of his never giving up when he wants something bad enough."

Severus sighed. "I know. Potter always did like to do the unexpected, to always cause the people around him trouble. In that alone, he's just like his father."

McGonagall shook her head. "You need to stop comparing the two. Harry isn't exactly like James. Sure, he got into more trouble then James did; but, unlike James, he almost always did it for his friends. He didn't go out looking for trouble, it followed him wherever he went."

Severus nodded. "You're going to give up looking for him, aren't you?"  
"I'll have too. It costs more money then we can afford and besides, if Harry wanted to come back, he would. We put too many of our expectations on him when he was so young. It wouldn't be fair if we did it to him now. He deserves to live his own life. His part in the war ended when Voldemort died. We'll have to do our part by stopping the remaining Death Eaters from continuing in his footsteps."

"I guess I have no choice, then. I'll have to visit Draco and Granger…"

"You might as well call her Hermione, after all, she did marry Draco, so she's no longer a Granger. You're practically related to her."

He shivered, "Just because it's fact, doesn't mean I have to accept it. She'll always be that same know-it…"  
"Severus."  
"Oh, alright. I'll have to ask _Hermione_," his nose wrinkled slightly as he said the name, "to help me search for him. After all, she hasn't given up yet and has probably spent half of Draco's inheritance."

"Not that much, believe me."

"Anyway, she seems to get more motivated the longer the search goes on."

"She's enjoying it. As Draco's wife, Hermione doesn't have much to do besides throwing parties and controlling the house elves…"

"How Draco talked her into keeping them, I'd like to know."

"So she looks forward to trying to solve the mystery of where he's hiding," McGonagall finished, pretending he hadn't interrupted.

"Typical know-it-all behavior," Severus mumbled.

"_Severus_."

He refrained from rolling his eyes, since doing so would put a damper on his reputation. "Yes?"

"Stop insulting Hermione."

He didn't say anything to that, instead he made his excuses. "Well, I better be off. I have papers to grade."

"Right, bye."

"Bye."

It wasn't until he was halfway down the hallway that he heard McGonagall yell out, "Wait! It's summer vacation! We don't have any papers!"

He chuckled slightly, something he rarely ever did, even when he was alone.

He went down to the dungeons to gather a few more of his things to take to Spinners End, then flooed home.

Not to long after that, he apperated to Malfoy Manner. As soon as a house elf let him in, he knew something was going on. Hermione was bouncing in front of Draco, all smiles.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We found him," Draco said. "We're going to see him as soon as she puts on some decent clothes."

Harry's nose wrinkled at the smell of burnt sausages and eggs coming from the kitchen. Why Mathew had to insist on trying to cook, he didn't know. No matter how hard he tried, Harry just couldn't get him to learn not to put the stove on high and leave them to cook on their own. He constantly told Mathew that they wouldn't magically cook on their own, but he never seemed to listen.

Entering the kitchen, he leaned against the wall, smiling slightly as he watched Mathew try to put out the small fire that had once been sausages. Shaking his head, he brought his wand out of a hidden pocket in his jeans and whispered a spell to make the fire die down slow enough as not to cause Mathew to grow suspicious, and put the wand back before saying anything.

"I think you might be even closer to inventing a way to cook without being there."

Mathew jumped and turned around, looking a bit sheepish. "Sorry. You know how short of an attention span I have."

"Yes, well, maybe tomorrow morning you should just wake me up earlier so that I can cook." He moved towards the stove, picked up a burnt sausage and took a bite, making a face at the taste, and putting it in the garbage. "Please, wake me up from now on."

Laughing, Mathew said, "How could I live without you?"

"Not well, obviously." He rinse out the skillets and put them back on the stove before going to the fridge and bringing out more food. He quickly made breakfast as Mathew watched in awe.

"How did you learn to cook like that? No one in my family was ever good at cooking, we usually went out to eat three times a day. When we did cook, it was only Natalie who was allowed near the stove." Natalie was his younger sister.

"I didn't have much choice. My aunt was a perfectionist."

Mathew's eyes widened slightly at the mention of Harry's family. It was the first time he had ever spoken of them. "You didn't live with your parents?" He asked hesitantly.

Harry looked up in surprise, then answered. "They died when I was one. I was taken to live with my mum's sister, her husband, and their son, who was about the same age as me."

"At least there was someone you could play with."

Harry laughed, but there wasn't any amusement in his voice. "If that's what you want to call it, then go ahead."

"You mean he was mean?"

"The meanest. Now, lets talk of something more happy then my childhood." He separated the food on their plates, gave Mathew a quick kiss, and sat the plates at the table, then he poured each of them a glass of coffee, which, thankfully, Mathew was actually good at making.

He sat down, chuckling as he saw Mathew practically leap into his seat and lunge into his food. Harry ate his slowly, trying to postpone going to work for as long as he could. He hadn't told Mathew, but there was a good chance that he would end up with not only no promotion, but without a job by the end of the day.

Rumor was that Grunnings, his uncles company, would buy out Packer's Drills, where Harry was supposed to make manager before the sale was finale. Though it was the last thing Harry had wanted to do, he knew that if he was to live in the muggle world, he would have to find a job doing something he knew how, and listening to Vernon's endless chatter to Petunia on how the company worked was embedded in his mind.

Finally, he put his plate in the sink, leaving them to Mathew to do, pulled on his shoes, and grabbed his briefcase. He kissed Mathew quickly but passionately before leaving.

He drove through town for ten minutes before reaching the building, where he parked in his spot and went in. After dropping his briefcase off in his office, he went to his bosses office. He wasn't the least bit surprised when he saw a big beefy man sitting in front of Mr. Packer's desk, chatting about business. When Mr. Packer's saw him answer, he smiled. "Ah, Mr. Potter, come in, have a sit."

Harry saw Vernon's head swivel towards him at his name from the corner of his eye, but refused to look at him until he had to. "I'd refer to stand, sir. I'm afraid that once I sit down, I might be reluctant to get back up, your chairs are far more comfortable then I'm used to."

Mr. Packer laughed. "Have it your way. Let's cut to the chase then. As we both know, I'm not getting any younger, Mr. Potter. My wife has been begging me for the last five years to retire, but I could never bring myself to, but now I have no choice, since Susan has become sick. I had hoped that the business would go down to my sons, as my father gave it to me. But the problem is, none of them are interested in it. The only logical thing to do is sell it to Grunnings, who's willing to keep on all the staff unless it doesn't see them fit. They have also agreed to let me pick the manager to run it, since I know the employees better than anyone.

"You've caught my eye for the past few years with how well you are doing. You work harder than all the others, you're never late, and you haven't missed a die since being hired. I believe that you would make the perfect manager to take over. That being said, I would like you to meet your knew boss Vernon…"

Harry finally turned to his Uncle, saying, "I'm afraid I cannot accept the promotion. In fact, I'm afraid I'll no longer be able to work here anymore."

"Wh-wh-what?" Mr. Packer's said, taken aback. "You can't…But why? You'll be paid more than ever, it's the perfect opportunity for you."

Harry shook his head, still looking at Vernon, speaking to him. "I won't ever work for someone like you, Vernon. And don't tell me to call you uncle, I no longer count you, Petunia, or Dudley as family anymore. If you want to buy Packer's, you can be sure that you will never have me employed to you. As a kid, I was forced to come to your beck and call, always doing as you said. I won't go through the same thing as an adult."

Vernon's face turned red. "Why you insolent…"

Harry looked back at Mr. Packers, not paying any attention to Vernon. "I'm sorry about this. I'll go pack my stuff up and will be gone soon." He turned and walked to the door, only pausing when Mr. Parkers spoke.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Harry didn't turn around, but opened the door and stepped out. Before he closed it behind him, he said, "I'm sure. It's either quit now and leave with my pride and dignity, or be fired the moment Vernon takes control of the company. Knowing him, he'll make sure to make the announcement to me in front of all the others."

When he reached his office, ten of the men and women he worked with were gathered around his desk, where a cake sat. A balloon was tied to his chair and read **Congratulations!** He smiled at them as they all rushed forward to shake his hand, but he stopped them.

"I didn't know they gave going away parties here," he remarked, still smiling, though it was forced.

"What?" One man, Andrew, asked.

"I quit. One of you will now have a chance to get the position."

"No!" Andrew's wife, Penny, said. "You can't quit! You know more about this job than any of us."

He shook his head. "Lets just say that the new boss and I don't see eye to eye. He would've fired me anyway."

"You can't know that after just meeting him," Andrew argued.

"Just trust me…and be ready for a lot of yelling whenever Dursley is around. Now, I don't want any of you to get all sad and everything. You'll still get to see me, just not here. You know you're all welcome at my place whenever you want."

He asked one of them to fetch him a box, and got to work packing his things. He knew they were all watching him. When the last thing was put in the box, he straightened and said, "Keep the cake safe for whichever one of you gets the job."

He hugged each of them, said goodbye, grabbed the box, and left.

When he reached home, he carried the box up to his and Mathew's apartment. Opening the door, he called out, "I'm home!"

Mathew immediately came running out of the living room. "Did you get the promotion? Please say you did."

"I was offered it."

"YAY!" Mathew lunged at him, knocking him to the floor in a passionate kiss. Harry pulled away, but didn't push him off, leaving Mathew straddling him. "What's wrong, Harry?"

"I quit."

Mathew's eyes widened. "Why?"

"Grunning's bought Packer's. The new boss and I didn't get along."

Suddenly a woman's voice said, "Grunnings? Isn't that the place your uncle works at?"

Harry looked up quickly, all color draining from his face. Standing in the living room doorway was three people. The woman had curly brown hair and chestnut brown eyes. Her features were soft as she looked at him. The other two were men. One had light blonde hair and silvery-blue eyes, he looked every part of a rich and arrogant man. The other had black hair that was pulled back, but strands had fallen out and fell into his dark eyes, which were lowered on him in hatred and something else…maybe surprise.

He would recognize the three anywhere.

I hope you liked reading this chapter as much as I liked writing it. I'm surprised with how long it turned out. I know it's just as long as the prologue, but still, when I started writing it, I just thought, _two or three pages top_. Then **BAM! **It's five pages. It would've been longer, but I decided to save the next part for the next chapter. This WILL be Harry/Snape, so have no worries about the ever adorable Mathew, he won't get in the way...much. Review!


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own HP.

__

"Oh, yeah," Mathew said after a few moments of silence. "We have guests. They said that it's urgent that they see you, so I invited them to stay here until you got home. Of course, we weren't expecting you until six, like you usually come home." He saw Harry's face. "I should have told them you didn't live here, right? I'm sorry, Harry. I should've…"

"Shut up, Mathew, you're rambling again. It's not your fault. I never asked you to say I'm not here if anyone ever showed up looking for me."

"You're not angry?"

"'Course not. Now up, you weigh a ton."

Mathew gasped. "I do not!" But he got up anyway and helped Harry to his feet.

Hermione immediately went to hug him, but was surprised when Mathew pulled Harry away.

"He's mine! You can't have him!"  
"He's a bit possessive. Now what are you doing here?"

"Harry, I didn't know you were…"

"I never told you, now did I? Will you answer my question?"

"We missed you."

Severus snorted.

"Well, _I_ missed you. And I wanted to ask why you ran away."

"I wanted to," Harry said simply. "I need no other reason besides that."

"I see you're still the same spoiled brat you were in school," Severus said.

Harry glared at him. "I should be allowed to be happy for once in my life, Snape!" he yelled. "I don't care what you three, or anybody else, thinks! I left because I knew staying would be painful! That even after all I did you save everyone, no one would let me live in peace! I've created a whole new life! A life where I could be who I want to be, without worrying about the _Daily Prophet_ or any magazines telling lies about me!"

"Harry?" Mathew asked.

Harry forced himself to calm down and look at him, he had forgotten he was in the room. "Yes, Mathew?"

"What's going on?"

Harry sighed and was about to speak when Hermione said, "He's your lover and you haven't even told him about what you are?"

"I told you, I created a new life, Hermione."

"What is she talking about, Harry?"

"You had to come and ruin everything, didn't you?" he growled at her, then spoke to Mathew. "I'm a wizard, Mattie," he said, using the name that only he was allowed to call him.

Mathew shook his head. "Stop lying. It's not like you."

Harry took a step closer to him and put his hands on his shoulders, and Mathew dropped his head to the floor. "Look at me." Mathew did. "Have I ever lied to you." He shook his head. "I'll never lie to you, either. I might not tell you some stuff, but I will never lie. I _am_ a wizard. I can do magic, I can make things float, turn one thing to another thing, nearly anything you can imagine. I even know how to ride a broom."

Mathews eyes widened. "Aren't brooms for witches?"

Harry chuckled. Leave it to Mathew to be the one person who's more worried about whether a guy or girl is the one to ride a broom than the fact that his boyfriend was a wizard. "Not always. Hermione's a witch and she flies about as well as a rock."

"It's true," Draco put in, earning a pinch on the arm from his wife.

"I can fly a _bit_ better than a rock."

He smiled at her affectionately. "Whatever you say."

Harry stared at them in surprise for a moment. "Are you two…"

"We got married two years after you left."

"That's a…surprise." He didn't dwell on it long, though, because Mathew had wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid."

"Of what? I wouldn't have left you."

Harry kissed him gently. "I know. Like I've told you before, my past wasn't very pleasant. I didn't want you to have to know about it. And it felt good to know that someone thought me a tad bit innocent."

"When did I ever say…"

"Last night, remember?"

"Oh…right. HEY! If you're not as innocent as I thought you were, does that mean I wasn't your first like you said?"

Harry laughed. "Of course you were my first. How could you even doubt that?"

"Oh, yeah…Forgot for a second how inexperienced you were."

Both Harry and Hermione blushed brightly while Draco laughed and Severus smirked.

"I still don't understand how it is that you managed to keep your virginity until two years ago."

Harry's blush deepened as Draco's laughter became louder and Hermione began to giggle. He saw that Severus' smirk had grown and that he was about to say something, so he hurriedly said, "Mathew! We don't need to discuss my virginity!"

"Well, it'd be _lack_ of virginity, now," Mathew said happily, oblivious to everyone else. "Because as of Valentines Day two years ago, we started to have sex nightly (and very passionately, I might add). Exactly a week before that you had your first blow…"

Harry cut him off with a hard kiss. When he ran his tongue over Mathew's lips, he was immediately granted entrance. As their tongues fought for dominance, Harry's hands moved to Mathew's hair, pulling him closer. When they finally pulled away because of lack of breath, Mathew had a dazed look on his face and when his spoke, his voice was breathless. "What was I saying?"

"You were offering to make us all coffee, remember?"

"Oh, right," he said and went into the kitchen. Harry had learned early on that the only way to shut Mathew up for good was to kiss him senseless.

Harry closed his eyes and muttered, "He better be happy I love him, otherwise, he'd be dead." Opening them, he looked back at the three, who stood there in shock, even Severus. "Now, listen, I don't want him knowing I'm famous, okay. So, whatever you want to say, say it now."

They were quiet for a moment before Draco, the first one to come to his senses, said, "We're sorry that we caused your secret to get out to him, but Hermione has really missed you. She's used nearly all of the money that I put in her vault (that's no small sum either) on hiring aurors to find you."

"So? Look, I left because I didn't want to have anything further to do with the wizarding world." He looked at Hermione. "You should've understood that. After everything that happened, you should've just let me live in peace."

"Are you saying that you didn't even miss me?" She asked, close to tears.

Harry sighed. "Of course I've missed you. I thought about you everyday since the day I left. But I've moved on. That's no longer my life. I belong here, with Mathew. He would die in a day if it weren't for me."

"I resent that remark!" Mathew yelled from the kitchen.

"It's true!" Harry yelled back. "Think about your cooking! Hell! You've learnt how to burn water!"

"That was an accident!"

"That's the bad thing! If you had done it on purpose, I would congratulate you for accomplishing something no one else had ever done. But you didn't want to burn it. You just did. Now stop arguing and fix that coffee!"

"You're no fun! And since you're being so mean to me, I won't let you use the handcuffs on me tonight!"

"Mathew! No more talking about our sex life while we have guests!"

"Handcuffs, Potter?" Severus drawled.

Harry's face went redder than ever as he stomped into the kitchen. He made no effort to keep his voice down as he said, "Mathew, really, can't you behave for _once_ while we have guests! Those are my best friend, my worst enemy, and my most despised teacher from school! You can't just go talking about what we do in the bed room in front of them."

Mathew was silent for a moment before saying, "That Draco dude is your worst enemy? I never would've guessed. He's too hot to be mean."

"MATHEW!"

"Um…Opps. What I meant to saw was that they make one odd group, don't they?"

Harry sighed, something he had a feeling he would be doing a lot of until he got those three out of the apartment. At the rate this was going, would end up knowing every detail of his past. "Just make the coffee, okay?" He kissed him quickly and went back to the others.

"If you have anything important to say, say it. I want you out of here within the next few minutes." He looked at Severus. "I'm especially curious as to why you're here. After all, I was your least favorite student."

"My reason is easy enough. I was hoping to see you wallowing in filth on the side of the street. Unfortunately, you seem to be doing okay."

"I'm doing better than okay, or I will as soon as I find me another job."

"Potter," Draco said, before the two could erupt into an argument. Now that Harry wasn't in school anymore, they didn't have to keep to verbal attacks. "We need your help."

"With what?"

"Draco, no! He did enough during the war. We'll not ask him to help with the aftermath."

"The Death Eaters have rejoined," he said as if she hadn't spoken. "It seems that they have found a new leader. The wizarding world won't be able to have peace until every last on of them is put away or killed. For the past few years, I've been working with the aurors to make sure that that goal is obtain. We just have the problem of finding out who the leader is and putting him away."

"And how do you expect me to help you?"

None of them noticed that Mathew had come out of the kitchen, carrying cups of coffee, and was listening to every word said.

It was Severus who said, "Potter, as much as it pains me to say this, for once you're needed for more than killing."

"That's supposed to make me feel better! I didn't want to kill those people. I didn't want to be the one to defeat Voldemort. When I was first told of being a wizard, I was told that my parents hadn't died in a car crash, that he had murdered him. When I was fifteen, I was told that I was the only one who could get rid of him, that if I failed, both the wizarding and muggle worlds would be taken over by him. I don't want anything to do with this. I did my job when I killed Voldemort."

"Let me finish. You would just need to make an appearance or two. The public would feel better if they knew you were alive and able to protect them again."

"I DON'T WANT TO PROTECT THEM! I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE! I WANT TO STAY HERE WITH MATHEW AND NEVER HEAR THE WORDS MAGIC, WITCHS, WIZARDS, OR HOGWARTS AGAIN!"

There was silence for a few moments after his explosion, then Hermione said quietly, "This is because of Ron, isn't it. You couldn't save him, so you're running away from everything that reminds you of him. He wouldn't want you to live like that. He'd want you to remain that brave loyal Gryffindor who wasn't afraid to help whoever he could, no matter the consequences to yourself."

"This has nothing to do with Ron. I left because that's what I wanted."

"You haven't even come to terms with his death, have you?"

"Yes, I have! I know he's dead, I know that I'll never see him again!"

"You ran away because you could pretend that you were the one who decided that you didn't want to see him. You didn't want to remain, having those reminders day after day that he wasn't there. You wanted to pretend that if you ever chose to go back, he would be there, angry as hell that you left."

"Shut up, Hermione! Stop acting like a know-it-all! NOW, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!"

Tears came to her eyes, but she held them back. He had never called her a know-it-all, had always been glad to have her around when he was in trouble and she was able to get him out of it. Never had he said he wanted her away from him. She forced herself to stand up straight and look him in the eyes. "Fine, I'll leave. But let me tell you something first. I might be a know-it-all. I might get on peoples nerves a lot. But at least I'm not afraid to deal with what happened. I'm not afraid to look at photographs of him or visit his family and talk about all the times we had together."

Standing tall and refusing to cry in front of him, she left, Draco hurrying after her. Severus stood there for a moment, silent. Finally, he said, "She's right, as usual. Unless you want to become bitter and mean, I suggest you start to cope with your past."

"Or what? Will I turn into you? Scaring small children just by walking into the room?"

A sadness showed in Severus' eyes for a moment, but he quickly covered it up. "You just might, Potter. You just might." He followed after the other two, but turned around and looked at him once he reached the door. "The Death Eater's have been looking for you, too. If Granger managed to find you, it's only a matter of time before they do." He left, closing the door behind him.

"Harry?" Mathew said. "Are you alright?"

Not hearing him, Harry backed up until he hit the wall, then slid down it slowly until he was a heap on the floor, crying for the first time since Mathew had known him. Mathew ran to him, dropping and breaking the cups as he went, and wrapped his arms around Harry. His fingers ran through Harry's hair as he muttered comforting words.

Harry's arms went around his waist and pulled him closer. He kept saying something, and Mathew had to strain to hear it. "It's happening all over again," and, "Why do they have to bring me into it again? Didn't I do enough last time?"

The minutes passed by slowly until Harry finally calmed down. "I'm sorry, Mathew."

"For what? You haven't done anything."

"I'm an emotional wreck."

"And it's about damn time, too. You're too strong, Harry, at least you are emotionally. All these years I've felt like a blabbering idiot with how often I let things get on my bad side until I break down. You've always been there for me. I'm happy that for once I get to be there for you."

"You're strange. Most people would wish that the ones they loved never had to go through so much pain."

Mathew kissed him. "Most people aren't me. Of course I don't want you to hurt this bad, but I'm glad that since you are, I'm here for you." He helped Harry up. "Now, come on. Let's get you into bed so that you can rest some. After an episode like that, I'm surprised you didn't cry yourself to sleep. I'll call take out for lunch. How does pizza sound? We can have a nice, romantic, pizza filled picnic on our bed. We still have that whiskey, too (You'll have to drink some this time). I'll get you nice and drunk, then you won't remember any of this for the next few hours, and we can have hot, passionate sex late into the night, missing supper. Then in the morning, we'll comfort each other during our intense hangovers. It'll be so much fun and really romantic."

"Only you would think sharing a hangover would be fun and romantic."

Mathew smiled at him. "You know you want to too."

__

The next morning found Harry and Mathew groaning in pain. An empty pizza box and whiskey bottle lay on the floor across the room, where Harry had thrown in before pouncing onto Mathew, though neither remembered it. Nor did they remember exactly how a pair of Mathew's jeans ended up in the bathtub, which was filled with water, which they didn't remember filling, and Harry's underwear was found in a pot, also filled with water, on the stove.

"Never again," Harry muttered as he stared at the pot. "Never again will I get drunk."

Mathew came up behind him, looking over his shoulder. "Told you it would be romantic. We boiled underwear together."

"More than likely, you tried to boil them while I was throwing up in the bathroom."

"Yeah, that's probably what happened. Looks like you stopped me though, it was turned back off."

"Or you forgot to turn it on."

"That could've happened, too…Of course, I think they looked like they were boiled."

"How would you know what boiled underwear looks like?"

"You don't want to know," Mathew said with a smile.

"Probably don't." Harry turned around and wrapped his arms around Mathew's waist, kissing him. "I'll say this much, it had to be the most unmemorable night of my life."

"Awe! That's so sweet!"

"And I hate to ruin it like this, but I need to go into town. Now I only have three more pairs of underwear left."

"I want to go underwear shopping with you!"

"No, you'll stay here and start to clean up. I won't be gone long."

"Meanie. I might have let you use them last night, but tonight I definitely won't let you use the handcuffs."

"How do you know we used them last night?"

"They're still cuffed to the bedposts."

Harry laughed and kissed him again, then went to get dressed and left. True to his word, he was only gone for an hour. When he returned, he found Mathew sitting on the couch, face pale and eyes wide, staring at a spot just beyond Harry's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Mattie?"

Mathew started mumbling incoherently and pointed to something past Harry's shoulder. Before he could turn, someone poked him in the back with what felt like a stick. All color left his face as he said, "Shit."

"Now, is that any way for the wizarding world's Savior to speak, Potter?" A woman's voice, sickly sweet and horribly familiar, asked. "It's been too long since we last saw each other. You haven't forgotten me, have you?"

Harry tensed and his hand moved slowly towards his hidden pocket.

"Goyle! Get in here and stand guard over Golden Boy here!" The woman yelled. Harry felt another wand being placed on his back and watched as Bellatrix Lestrange came into view, her wand pointed at Mathew. "Move that hand anymore, I kill him right now."

Harry's hand froze on the spot. "Bitch," he spat.

"Now, now, now, would my dear cousin want to hear you talk like that, little baby Potter?"

Harry spat at her face, but missed, causing her to laugh. "You have no right to call him family, Lestrange!" he yelled.

"Look at you, Potter," she said, smiling cruelly. "Sirius would be so disappointed in you if he were to see you like this. Not only shacked up with a muggle, but a _boy_ at that! It's so disgraceful! And your parents! What would they think?"

Harry moved, wanting to put his hands around her scrawny throat and choke her to death, but stopped when she yelled, "Crucio!"

He watched as Mathew began withering and screaming in pain. When she finally let up, Mathew sagged on the couch, his eyes closed and breathing heavy.

"Leave him out of this, Lestrange!"

She smirked and walked over to Mathew. Her hand gently caressed his cheek, and Harry forced himself not to lunge at her since her other hand still pointed the wand at Mathew. "He's a real pretty boy, isn't he, Little Potter?" Her thumb traced Mathew's lips and Harry about laughed when Mathew snapped at it and bit her, hard. She jerked back and slapped him, causing blood to trickle down the side of his mouth. His eyes remained closed and he barely flinched, though a bruise was already starting to form.

"Let me sit next to him, Lestrange. I won't grab for my wand, just let me make sure he's okay."

Her smirked became even crueler than before. "I just might. That is, if you beg."

Harry hesitated, then said, "Please, Lestrange."

"I don't think that that's begging. Get down on your hands and knees and beg."

Harry glared at her, but began to kneel, but Mathew opened his eyes and looked at him. In a raspy voice, he said, "Don't, Harry, I'm fine. Just a little dazed and confused…'course, when am I _not_ confused?"

Harry sighed in relief. "I'm sorry, Mathew. This is all my fault."

"Shut up, Harry. I'm alright, you're alright, and those two will end up dead sooner or later…preferably sooner." His voice was weak, but Harry saw a bright glint in his eyes, and his hand moving slowly towards the drawer in the table next to the couch. Neither Goyle nor Bellatrix noticed it, thankfully. Harry knew what Mathew was going for, knew that if he told him to stop, that Bellatrix would kill Mathew.

Hopefully, Mathew would be smart enough to use the gun to kill Bellatrix, not Goyle, but he knew it was in vain. Mathew would shoot at Goyle, just because it was his wand pointed at Harry. Seconds passed as Bellatrix chattered about something totally meaningless, to Harry, anyway. He kept his eyes off of Mathew, not wanting to draw attention to him.

The next few seconds happened quickly. There was the loud **BANG!** of the gun, and the thud of Goyle hitting the hard floor. Harry went for his wand, but was too late. Bellatrix had cast Avada Kadavra before his hand touched the end of his wand. There was a flash of green and a loud **POP! **

When he could see again, Goyle was a bleeding lump on the floor and Bellatrix was gone. His eyes landed on Mathew, who was eerily still.

"No," Harry whispered. "NO! MATHEW, GET UP!" He ran to the couch and started shaking him, silent tears falling from his eyes. "Please, Mathew, get up. You can't do this to me, you just can't! What am I supposed to do without you?"

He became still and laid his head on Mathew's chest; still crying, but not making a sound. Soon, his tears dried out, and his eyes closed as he drifted off to sleep, not wanting to ever wake up. He thought he was granted that wish when he felt himself being lifted and carried. He let out a distressed gasp, not wanting to leave Mathew.

A soft voice said, "Don't worry, I won't leave him."

Harry opened his eyes, seeing a dark familiar figure with hair as black as his own and eyes the same color. He couldn't put a name to the face, but the serious expression on his face, the hair, the eyes, and the black clothes brought to mind some kind of god of death, yet at the same it, it relieved him of all worries as he drifted off to sleep once again.

__

YAY! Six pages in five nights! Or was it two nights? I don't remember if I wrote little bits at a time in five days or if I spent only two days on this one and worked on my other stories the other three days. –sighs- I need some sleep. Oh, well! This has got to be the fastest I have ever updated, and one of my longest chapters in all the stories I've written. I hoped you liked it. I still can't believe I killed Mathew. I loved him! So, tell me how you liked it! I'm just going to tell you, my favorite part to write was the boiled underwear...What was he thinking?


	4. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own HP.

* * *

Severus sat stiffly in a chair next to his bed at Spinners End, where he had brought Harry. The boy…no, the man had been asleep for two days, and still showed no signs of waking up. Upon returning with the unconscious Harry, he had contacted Draco and told him to take care of Mathew's body, but not to bury it. He knew that Harry would want to attend the funeral. He also made sure that Draco hadn't told Hermione what had happened, knowing that a upset Hermione would cause him a lot of trouble with her wanted to watch over Harry every second of every day.

He hoped that Harry would wake up soon, he didn't want to deal with having to take care of him for much longer, and it was trying his patience. Poppy had enough work to do with helping with her granddaughter's birth, and he knew that taking Harry St. Mungo's would cause too much unwanted attention with the media.

So he was stuck here, on his own, taking care of the annoying brat who reminded him too much of James Potter. Though everyone told him that Harry was different than James, he couldn't get past it. They looked too much alike for their personalities to be different. Harry had to be just as arrogant, just as despiteful, just as mean as James.

_**But James did save your life that once**,_ a quiet voice said in the back of his mind.

_But that was only because he and Black would get sent to Azkaban if I had died._

The voice was silent for a moment, then it said, **_Severus, you've watched Harry closely over the past few years. The only time Harry had put someone's life in danger was when he would lead them into battle, and he had always tried to get them to stay _away_ during those times. They chose to follow him. _**

_I don't care! It's still Potter!_

_**One of these days, you'll see the mistake you made in being so biased. You'll become even more bitter than you already are.**_

_Leave me alone!_

He waited for what seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes, until he was sure that the voice wouldn't speak to him again before bringing his attention back to Harry, who's forehead was covered in sweat and groaned slightly from whatever he was dreaming about. When he started thrashing and crying out, Snape jumped up and started to shake him awake.

"Potter! Wake up! NOW!" He yelled, angrily. When that just served to make it worse, he forced his voice to sound calm, if not kind. "Potter, wake up. You're having a nightmare. Come on, wakeup."

After a minute, Harry's eyes fluttered open, then widened in shock when he saw Severus. "What are you doing here? Where's Mathew?" He asked as he sat up.

Severus sighed. "You're boyfriend died, Potter. I'm sorry."

"No, he can't be dead," Harry said, tears coming to his eyes. "That was a dream. You shouldn't lie about things like that, Snape. It isn't funny."

Shaking his head slightly, Severus continued speaking. "Bellatrix used Avada Kadavra on him after he shot Goyle. Draco is taking care of his body, but not to start on the funeral plans until you were able to tell us what you want to be done."

Harry's tears worsened and he brought his knees up and laid his head on them. "He _can't_ be dead! He promised he wouldn't leave me! That he would never hurt me!"

Severus sat down on the bed next to him. "People can't control when they die. If we could, we would all live forever. Life is…well, I wouldn't say fun…I guess, unpredictable when there's death. If no body died, then wars would go on forever and no one would have morals since they wouldn't need to repent. I'm sure that Mathew didn't want to die, but it was his time."

Harry glared at him. "Stop trying to cheer me up, Snape, you're terrible at it."

Severus smirked. "Who said I was trying to cheer you up. I'm just trying make you see that your boyfriend _is_ dead, just as Weasley is (you still need to cope with that too), and there's nothing you can do about it. You need to try to get over their deaths. I'm not trying to say you shouldn't mourn them, but you can't have their deaths control your life."

"I don't! Now shut up and leave me alone!"

"I need to tell Draco you're awake now so that he can talk to you about the funeral preparations. Do you want Gra…Hermione to come with him?"

"NO! I don't want to see anyone! Not Hermione! Not Malfoy! And especially not _you_!"

"Then I'll tell him not to bring her. She doesn't know about what happened. I didn't want another member of the Golden Trio forcing her way in my house, let alone my room."

Harry finally looked around and realized that he wasn't in his apartment anymore, but a large bedroom with black carpet and dark green walls. The only window in the room had black curtains covering it, blocking out the majority of the light outside. The king-sized four poster bed he was sitting on had green hangings that matched the walls exactly, the blanket was black, and the many pillows varied from the same green, black, and a few silver. Across from the bed was a long dresser with intricately carved designs on it and had a large mirror on top.

The only personal object in the room was a single picture of a younger Severus, looking to be in his twenties, sitting on a couch with a mans head using his lap for a pillow as Severus ran fingers through the man's dark blonde hair on the bed side table. There was a gentleness in Severus' eyes as he looked down at the man that Harry had thought the potions master incapable of.

Noticing where Harry was looking, Severus quickly stood up and put the picture in the table drawer. "Don't think of asking questions, Potter. And I would appreciate it if, in future, you don't go snooping around."

Harry pushed the blanket off of him and moved to stand up. "You don't have to worry about that," he replied coldly. "I'm going home." When he got to his feet, he became dizzy and started to loose his balance.

Refraining from rolling his eyes, Severus gently pushed him back onto the bed and covered him once again. "You won't be going anywhere. Not only can you not tell up from down, but you need to be somewhere that you can be protected. There' only three places that can protect you. Hogwarts (but nobody there knows that you have been found), Malfoy Mansion (there you would have Hermione hovering over you twenty-four seven), or here."

Harry's fists clenched. "I can go anywhere I want to, Snape! Don't try to dictate me!"

"I wouldn't dream of doing so. Everyone knows you're incapable of doing as others tell you to. You have to be the one giving orders, not the other way around. As it is, though, it would be in your best interest…"

"I don't give a damn about my best interest! Everyone says they want to do what's best for me! Well, what's best for me would've been to die after killing Voldemort! That was the only thing I was good for!"

It was clear that Harry could, and would, go on for a while, so Severus covered his mouth firmly with his hand, not wanting to use magic on him. "Stop gripping, it doesn't suit you. Listen to me, if I ever hear you talking of being better off dead, it's a one way ticket to Hermione," Harry grimaced. "And since you won't listen to reason and choose where you want to stay, I will choose for you. Since you don't want to see Hermione, and all of the Wizarding World would know if you were to go to Hogwarts, you will stay here. No if, ands, or buts about it.

"At the moment, the guest room is a bit dusty," the look on his face clearly said that that was an understatement, "since I don't have many guests, but I can have it cleaned up by tonight if I get started on it after I speak to Draco. You have to talk to him so you can plan the funeral." Without another word, he left and went down to his kitchen, where a fire was always going.

He took some floo powder from a jar on top of the fireplace and threw it in. Kneeling, he put his head into the fire and said, "Malfoy Manor, Draco's Study." The chimney started to spin and when it finally came to a stop, he saw Draco sitting behind his desk and Hermione on his lap, kissing. He cleared his throat and the jumped apart, Hermione blushing and Draco shaking his head in regret. "Gra…Hermione, I need to speak to Draco alone for a few minutes."

"Why can't I…"

"It's personal."

"Oh, alright." She climbed off Draco's lap and walked towards the door, but turned around before leaving. "If you have to go anywhere, Draco, remember to be back for supper. We need to talk."

As soon as the door closed, Draco groaned. "Nothing good ever comes when she says those words."

"Potter's awake."

Draco looked up at him. "Since when?"

"About thirty minutes ago. I'm hoping he isn't mad enough to try destroying my room. I don't think he liked the news of his boyfriends death."

"Please say you broke it to him gently."

Severus hesitated, then said, "I probably could've been a bit gentler."

Draco sighed. "No wonder he hated you at Hogwarts. Let me change into something more suitable, then I'll come talk to him."

"Alright…would you mind lending me a house elf? My guest room needs to be cleaned."

Draco's eyes widened. "You're letting him stay with you?"

"It seems the only choice since he doesn't want to be around Hermione right now."

"I'll send Millie. She might try cleaning up everything else though."

"I won't be complaining about it, as long as she stays out of my room. Potter's already being nosy."

"You shouldn't have left the picture out in the open then."

"I didn't say…"

"You didn't have to," Draco said, rolling his eyes with a smile. Glaring at him weakly, Severus pulled his head out of the fireplace. With a pop, a small house elf appeared before him and bobbed a curtsy. "Master said Millie was to help Sir Severus."

"I need my guest room cleaned, Millie."

"Millie will get to it right away, Sir Severus!" She said with another curtsy and disappeared.

"Sir Severus?" Harry's voice came from behind him. "That makes you sound older than Professor Snape did."

Turning around, Severus glared at him. "I won't reply to that."

"But it's so much fun to ruffle your feathers," Harry said. "It had always been one of my favorite pastimes."

"And here I was, beginning to think you didn't deserve all of those detentions I gave you," Severus said sarcastically.

"Of course I didn't. You would've known that sooner if you had a sense of humor."

"I won't reply to that either. Now, what are you doing out of bed? Three minutes ago, you couldn't even stand."

Harry gave him a sickly sweet smile. "Are you worried about me? That's so sweet!"

"Don't even start with me, Potter. Now, get back up to bed."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"I need to use the bathroom and have no idea where it is."

Only for a second did Severus wonder why it hadn't occurred to him to tell Harry where the bathroom was, then said, "First door on the right when you go up the stairs. Then get back to bed. I'll bring some food up for you."

Widening his eyes, Harry said, "Now I'm scared."

"Contrary to rumors, I'm not just some greasy old potions master. I _do_ have to know common knowledge in order to live."

"And you don't even do that well."

"Depends on what your opinion of well is. I believe that we have to completely different definitions of it. Now go so I can get some work done."

Harry rolled his eyes and went back upstairs. Severus waited until he heard the bathroom door close before he began to put together a small meal of eggs, bacon, and toast, though it was nearly time for lunch. He needed to go shopping since Harry would be staying there.

* * *

Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror. His face was pale and there were dark circles under his dull eyes. It also looked like he had lost weight since he had last been awake, and he noticed that he was no longer wearing his muggle clothes, but pajama's that seemed to be a few sizes too big and were spelled to hold up. His hair looked even messier than usual.

Hopefully, he hadn't mad Severus too mad when they had spoken. But he had needed something to take his mind off of what had happened and Severus had been there. It easier to take his anger out on someone who didn't like than to take the chance of being caught crying in despair, though something told him that Severus wouldn't have judged him because of it.

He began to wash his hands and face as he wondered about the picture he had seen and why Severus didn't want anyone to know he had been human at least once in his life. He shrugged it off though as he grabbed a towel and dried up.

He passed an open door on the way back to Severus' bedroom and looked in. He saw a small house elf cleaning what he guessed was the guest room. Though a bed and small dresser sat in the room, mostly it was tables with cauldrons, potions ingredients, and books sitting on them. Shelves were placed on the walls, all holding different sized vials of potions. It looked as though Severus had turned the room into a workshop.

Looking at the house elf, he thought to himself, _I should've known he wouldn't clean up on his own. He went and got a house elf and would've probably taken credit for it._

Shaking his head, he went back to Severus' bedroom and climbed onto the bed. After he lifted the blanket to cover up, he sat there thinking. He wasn't tired, he refused to let his grief for Mathew overtake him until he knew no one was around, and he didn't have anything to do. Severus had just sentenced him to who knew how long of boredom in bed. Before he could do anything about it, though, there was a pop and Draco appeared at the foot of the bed.

"You have no idea how strange it is to see anyone, let alone _you_, laying in Sev's bed," Draco said.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Don't you? Knowing Sev, he won't let you out of bed and give you something to do while your in bed. I'll probably be the only person you'll have to talk to…unless you decide to let Hermione come see you."

"No."

"Alright, then…she's going to kill me for not telling her though…wait, what if she already found out? She _did_ say she needed to talk to me at supper."

"If she had found out you were helping Snape hide me, you would've already heard about it."

"Oh, right. Wherever she's concerned, I get all worried. It seems that she finds about everything I'm planning on doing…sometimes before I plan on doing it."

"You haven't gotten used to it yet?"

"Of course not. It's too eerie to get used to."

Harry shrugged, "Kept me from getting into more trouble then I would've. So, have you two had any kids yet?"

"No, but not for the lack of trying."

"I didn't need to know that."

Draco hesitated before saying, "We really need to start on the funeral plans, Harry…you don't mind if I call you Harry, do you?"

"Since it's only a matter of time before Hermione finds out about Mathew and that I'm here, we'll probably be seeing a lot of each other. So I guess it's better if we try to be friends, Draco…That sounded weird. It'll probably take some getting used to for me, I never thought that I would have to see you again, much less have to be nice."

Draco gave him an odd look. "Are you sure about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you leave Hermione with me on the day of the last battle? We both know that if I could've killed her, that you had no reason to trust me to watch her. Still, you left her with me."

Hesitating a moment, Harry replied, "You gave her the same look Ron did, like she was something rare and beautiful that you had never seen before. I remembered that you would look at her like that in classes sometimes, but I never thought about it since you were always mean to her. When I left you two, I didn't really know what the look meant, only that it would help her…now, though, I know it's love. After all, why else would someone put up with all of the stuff she says and does."

Draco had to chuckle, "Yeah, well, you put up with it for seven years, I've only had to for five. Now, about the funeral."

"Do we have to talk about this now? I'm still trying to get used to the fact that he's gone."

"Could you at least give me the names of his parents so that they could plan it?"

Harry shook his head, "His father ran out on him when he was ten and his mom died three years ago. Everyone else in his family disowned him for being gay. Besides a few friends, who would think it odd if they were asked to plan it, he only had me."

Draco looked shocked, then said, "I guess I can see why you two were drawn to each other."

Harry nodded and said, "Do you think it could wait just another day? I promise I'll talk about it then."

"Alright, I'll come back to talk tomorrow afternoon…Sev didn't get any of your clothes, he was in a bit of a hurry. Do you want me to go to the apartment to get some for you, or do you want to do it yourself, that way you could get everything you want or need."

"There isn't anyway that Snape would let me go there by myself, is there?"

"No, he takes his duties very seriously. He's spent the past five years look…"

"Draco," Severus said as he entered the room with a tray. "I could only carry enough up for Potter on this tray. Come help me get some for us, too."

"But I'm not…" His voice trailed off when he saw the look in Severus' eyes. "Okay. We'll be back up soon, Harry." He swept by Severus and left the room. Before following, Severus handed the tray to Harry, who looked down at it suspiciously.

* * *

"What did you think you're talking about, Draco? You can't just go pouring your heart out to Potter about _my_ personal life. Make a fool of yourself as much as you want, but don't make me suffer the consequences with you," Severus said as he put together two more plates.

"He's going to learn of it sooner or later, Sev. Once Hermione hears about him being here, she'll force her way in to see him and tell him everything that's happened since he left…that is, if she doesn't kill him for being rude to her when we went to see him."

Severus put the plates and drinks on two trays and handed one to Draco. "I don't care if you've already eaten or not, you're going to eat some of it. I doubt Potter will touch the food unless he sees that we're eating it, and he needs to eat. I put a potion in his so that will help him regain his strength."

Draco lead the way back up to Severus' room, where they saw Harry glaring at the untouched plate.

"It's not poison, Potter," Severus drawled.

"I'm not too sure about that, though it does look edible enough."

Severus sat down in the chair next to the bed and took a bite of his food. Following his example, Draco sat on the edge of the bed and ate some. With a sigh, Harry took a small bite of bacon, and when he didn't fall dead, he ate more.

When the plate was finally finished, Harry said, "At least it's a bit better than Mathew's charcoal diet." His eyes were bright with unshed tears, but he held them in.

"Do you want me to take you to the apartment so that you can get your stuff?"

Harry nodded slowly. "That'd be good."

"Sev, you can stay here. You'd only make Harry more distraught if you were to come." Severus glared at him and was about to remark when Draco stopped him. "You should help Millie clean up…or at the very least make sure she doesn't break your vials."

Without a word, Severus turned and hurried towards the guestroom.

"Of course he doesn't realize that Millie is one of my best house elves and has never broken anything in her life," Draco said before he took Harry's arm and apperated them.

* * *

I hope you liked it. I know this chapter doesn't have humor like the ones before it, but that's to be expected until Harry overcomes Mathew's death. I'll try to put more in the next chapter though. Review! 


	5. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own HP.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Harry walked around the apartment, lingering over Mathew's belongings, a sad expression on his face. Draco followed him, keeping an eye on him in case being there was too much for Harry to handle.

Stopping next to the couch, Harry laid a hand on the couch where Mathew had been sitting when it had all happened. Opening the drawer to the table beside it, he brought out a small red bouncy ball and put it in his pocket. Draco raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

As he looked around, Harry would occasionally pick up small, seemingly unimportant things, and slip them into the pocket with the ball.

When they reached the bedroom, Harry stood in the doorway for a few minutes, just staring at the bed. For the first time since they had arrived in the apartment, Harry spoke.

"I meet Mathew not to long after I ran away. He brought me in from the streets and gave me a place to stay. From the very beginning he trusted me, even though he knew I was hiding things from him. I never told him about being a wizard or about the Dursley's." He closed his eyes for a moment. "You saw how he was when you meet him. It was like he was a ball of energy. He always said what he thought, always showed what he was feeling. He never held anything back." He took a step into the room. "And I killed him."

"It wasn't your fault, Harry."

Harry looked at him. "Yes, it is! If I had told him who I was, _what_ I was, he would've known to be more cautious of the people he didn't know. If I hadn't left that morning, if I had been there with him from the beginning, I could've protected him."

"You didn't have any way to know that the Death Eaters were still active. Even if you had, and you had told Mathew what had happened, it might not have made a difference. You said he was very trusting. It would have gone against his nature to doubt someone even if he knew it could be dangerous. And don't blame yourself for not being there. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen."

"But he didn't want me to go. He wanted me to stay home with him. I didn't listen to him. I left him and I didn't make it back in time. If I had listened to him, if I had stayed-"

"You might both be dead."

Harry looked at him. "I'd rather be dead than live the rest of my life without him."

Draco didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent. Harry sighed and went to the closet and pulled out all of his and Mathew's clothes and put them in a suitcase that was kept beneath the bed.

Seeing some of the clothes, Draco's eyes widened slightly. Noticing, Harry let out a small, sad, laugh.

"Mathew liked to get…creative most of the time," he explained, putting the last outfit (a frilly maid outfit) in the suitcase.

"Who wore the maid, nurse, and schoolgirl outfits?"

A blush came to Harry's cheeks and he refused to look at Draco. "Depends on who was bottom and who was top. We switched a lot."

Draco shook his head. "You have problems…I never pictured you as the cross dressing type."

"Only with Mathew. You're lucky, though. You don't have to see the wedding dress."

"Wedding dress?"

"Yeah. I threw it out a week after he bought it. He refused to wear it, saying that I'm the wife since I'm the one that cooked and cleaned." He stood there for a moment, looking around to see if he had missed anything. He spotted a box in the corner of the room and the blush on his face reddened further as he hurried to it and closed the top.

"What's in there?" Draco asked curiously, though not sure if he really wanted to know.

"Mathew's collection."

"Please tell me that it's something a _normal_ muggle would collect."

He sent him a weird look. "Haven't you heard anything I've said about Mathew so far?"

Draco sighed. "Good point…do I want to know what he collected?"

"Probably not. Now, help me move the mattress from the bed."

When the mattress was moved, Draco saw a small pink book laying there.

"Mathew's diary," was all Harry said.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Most guys would call them journals, if they even kept one."

"Mathew believed that all men had a feminine side to them, it was his way of showing his. He said that the real name is a diary, and any man who was too afraid of calling them by its real, feminine, name, was only trying to hide the fact that they were more feminine than other guys."

Harry put the diary in the suitcase and closed it. "Let's go."

Draco nodded and they apperated back to Spinner's End. Severus wasn't anywhere in sight, and Draco assumed that he was either in the study working or keeping a very close eye on Millie.

Harry was about to go upstairs, but Draco put a hand on his arm. "Come with me to the living room so we can talk."

Harry gave him a confused look, but followed him anyway. Once they were seated comfortably, Harry asked, "What?"

"There's some things about Severus that you need to know." He seemed to hesitate, not sure if he was doing the right thing in revealing some of Severus's past, not sure if he could trust Harry this much.

Realizing the reason for Draco's hesitation, Harry assured him, "I won't tell anyone what you tell me, not even Snape."

Draco nodded. "Alright. First off, Severus really likes his privacy. Don't go digging around in his stuff. He had a tough time when he was younger-"

"I know a bit about his father and how my dad treated him in Hogwarts."

Draco looked surprised. "How?"

"In fifth year he taught me occlumency…I accidentally got a look at his memories."

"Oh. Well, anyway, there's some other things that he hides, that he never talks about. I can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you not to pry. If he wants you to know, he'll tell you."

"Does it have to do with that picture I saw?"

Draco nodded. "Just don't bring it up around him, okay?"

"Okay. Anything else?"  
"No, just let him have his privacy."

Harry stood and picked up his things and headed upstairs, Draco following him. Just as they were about to reach the landing, Harry's foot slipped. Draco caught him and quickly regained his balance, but the box containing Mathew's collection slipped out of Harry's hands, it's contents falling out.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Hearing noise outside Harry's soon-to-be bedroom, Severus went to see what happened. He saw Harry hurrying to put something into a box while Draco stared with wide eyes.

"He collected dildos?" his voice was a mix of amusement and incredulousness.

Harry grinned sheepishly. "I told you that you didn't want to know."

Severus shook his head. "Got everything?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good." He looked at Draco. "Hermione's in the kitchen."

Draco's eyes widened. "What for?"

"Something about you being in trouble for keeping secrets and lying."

His face went pale. "So she knows?"  
"It seems so."

Draco turned went back downstairs, to the kitchen, looking as though he was walking to his funeral.

Severus looked back at Harry, who was straightening, holding the box. "Dildos?"

"Mathew was strange."

"I knew that the moment I met him. Go ahead and put your things away," he tilted his head towards the guest bedroom, then headed downstairs.

He could hear Hermione's shouts before he even stepped off the last stair. With a sigh, he went into the kitchen and nearly smiled at the sight the two made. Draco sat in one of the high back chairs, his head hanging down and a light pink blush of embarrassment on his cheeks. Hermione stood over him, face livid, arms on hips, and eyes narrowed as she yelled down at him. It relieved him to know that Hermione didn't treat him like the prince he had always expected. It looked as though she handled him as well as Narcissa ever had, which was indeed saying something.

He gave a slight cough to catch their attention. "Am I interrupting something?"

Hermione's face reddened, embarrassed that he had seen her in such a temper. "Of course not, Severus. We were just…um, having a small disagreement."

This time a slight smile did appear on Severus's face, startling her slightly. "Potter's just upstairs putting his things in the guest room."

"You think he'll come down afterwards? Or is he still angry with us?"

Severus sighed. "I'm not sure. I'm worried, though. He's taking everything too well. He only cried once, when I told him what happened."

"He told me a bit about Mathew," Draco put in. "He doesn't seem to be denying what happened. He's accepting it, no questions asked."

They were all silent then, waiting. Severus looked at the clock, keeping track of time. Five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen. After twenty minutes and Harry still didn't appear, he stood up. "I'll check on him, make sure nothing happened."

He found Harry in the bathroom, the door left open, splashing water on his face.

"Everything all right, Potter?"

Harry looked up at him. "Yeah, why?"

"Hermione wants to see you."

Harry groaned, but dried his face and straightened up. "Alright…she's not mad at me still, is she?"

Surprise flinted through Severus's eyes for a moment. "She asked the same about you."

Harry shook his head. "I wasn't mad at her, just upset that you all came back into my life, expecting that I give up everything I made for myself, and once again devote myself to helping the wizarding world."

"When you put it that way, it sounds selfish."

"It was very selfish. I played my part in the war, I defeated Voldemort. I should be allowed to live a normal life."

Severus looked at him closely. "Come on, Potter, Hermione's waiting for you."

Harry sighed and went downstairs, Severus following. As soon as he entered the kitchen, Hermione threw her arms around him. "Harry, are you alright? I wish I could've been here for you sooner, but Draco didn't tell me what had happened. I only found out threw some of the Order's members who're keeping an eye on the Death Eaters."

Harry hugged her back. "I'm fine, Herms, don't worry so much."

"Are you sure? You can come back to the manor with us. It might be better if I were there for you."

"No, I want to stay here."

She looked shocked for a moment and let go of him. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I think it'd be best. I need some time to myself for a while, to think things through, figure out what I'm going to do now."

"Alright."

"Could you give me until Sunday to get settled in? Get used to living here?"

Hermione hesitated before nodding. "Alright, if that's what you want, Harry."

He smiled down at her and kissed her cheek quickly. "I'm sorry about the other day. I really have missed you all these years."

Draco took her hand and looked at Harry. "I think we can post pone the funeral plans until then." He looked over at Severus. "Don't kill him, okay?"

Severus's eyes narrowed. "As long as he behaves, we'll be okay."

Draco rolled his eyes, then he and Hermione apperated.

"You'll have to sleep on the couch tonight. The guest bedroom still isn't finished, and the mattress needs to be aired out. You'll have to start pitching in tomorrow. Starting with breakfast."

Harry's nose wrinkled. "Do I have to sleep on the couch?"

Severus glared at him. "I'm not giving my bed up for another night, Potter. One night isn't going to kill you."

"Bitter old potions master."

"Annoying little brat. And I'm not old."

"Yes, you are. I'm surprised you don't have gray hair…what do you do, dye it?"

Severus glared at him. "Go find something to do…just stay out of my stuff and don't strain your body."

"Can I find a book to read in your study?"

"Yes, just give me some space for a bit."

"No problem," Harry said and left to find the study.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

I'm so sorry about the delay. I had this chapter written and thought I had updated it, so I started on the next chapter (which I'll put up next week if I can), then realized that not only did I not update, but it had been deleted off my computer. I had to rewrite it all. I know it's a bit shorter than usual, but I couldn't remember everything that I had in the original chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Review!


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I do not own HP.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Harry woke up earlier than usual, his messy hair sticking up at impossible angles. A cold draft caused him to shiver and he instinctively moved to snuggle closer to Mathew, only to meet the hard back of Severus's couch, where he'd been forced to sleep the night away, uncomfortably.

Tears threatened to fall as the realization came. He bit down hard on his thumb, trying to stop them from flowing. There was no way he would ever grow used to waking up alone, and he knew that he would _always_ wake up alone. No one could replace Mathew. No one could ever be as happy, hyper, and perfect (if a little eccentric) as his Mathew.

A choked sob escaped him and he bit down harder, until he could taste the metallic flavor of his blood. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for the deep sense of loss he felt. After all the friends and family that had died, after all the people he had killed to help bring the Wizarding and Muggle worlds back into balance, back into peace, he found it shocking that it still hurt him so much.

He buried his head deeper into the fluffy pillow behind his head and pulled the blankets up higher, wanting to hide from the world. From the place that had destroyed everything good in his life. From the place that had taken his parents, Sirius, Ron, and now Mathew.

"Go ahead and cry."

Harry sat up quickly, jerking his thumb away from his mouth. Severus was standing in the doorway, watching him closely.

"Why? So you can get off on my misery? No thanks." He hated that, despite what he said, tears were falling from his eyes. He knew Severus noticed them, but also knew that it would draw even more attention to them if he wiped them away.

Severus sighed, and stepped farther into the room. "No, because you _need_ to cry. Despite what you may think, I'm not heartless…"

"Could've fooled me," Harry muttered beneath his breath.

"You can't go on pretending it didn't happen, like you tried to do with Weasley," Severus said, ignoring Harry's interruption.

"I didn't pretend…"

"Stop lying to yourself, and, more importantly, me. I _was_ a spy. As such, I learned to tell when someone's lying, like all those times you did back in Hogwarts. I knew you were lying, but didn't have any way to prove otherwise."

"You give yourself too much credit, Snape."

"I am not prone to arrogance, Potter. I believe I'm very reasonable in my estimations of my talents and skills."

Harry glared at him, not responding. Severus sighed and sat down on the couch next to him. Harry instantly scooted over until the armrest prevented further movement.

"Harry…"

"Don't use my first name."

He went on like Harry hadn't spoken. "I want you to listen to me. I _do_ know how you feel. Losing that one person who you love is the most painful thing you can go through. But you have to cry, you have to mourn him. He'd want you to be happy, but he'd understand that you _need_ to cry. You can't fully heal without letting go of all rationality. Yell, scream, throw things, or cry, take your pick, but do something.

"You have to mourn him in some way. The only way for things to get better is if you just let go, let your emotions control you."

"I doubt you ever did."

"You're right, I didn't. And if you don't, then you'll turn out like me, a bitter Potions Master who throws himself into his work to escape the things he doesn't want to deal with."

"You forgot old. You're a bitter _old_ Potions Master."

"That's enough with calling me old, Potter," Severus growled. He stood up and looked down at Harry, who was still huddled in the corner of the couch. "You're turn to cook breakfast. I'll get to clearing out your room. Call me when it's ready." He left without another word, leaving a confused brunette behind.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

The day passed by slowly for the two, with Harry and Severus both working hard on moving the potion's lab into the study and turning the lab back into a bedroom. By the time the mattress was aired, the potion supplies moved, and the room was cleaned, the moon had already begun to rise.

Harry stood at the window in the study, staring at the full moon, a look of longing on his face. Behind him at a table was Severus, working diligently on one of his potions. The uncomfortable silence that hung in the air between the two was so thick, it seemed to be closing in on Harry.

"Snape?"

The potions master was on the verge of putting a few drops of vampire's blood into his potion, but at the sudden sound of Harry's voice, he jumped and put in too many and the potion started boiling at a fast rate.

"Damn it, Potter!" he yelled, hurrying to correct the mistake before the consequences became dire. "Can't you see that I'm working? You're lucky the potion didn't explode! Do you know what can happen if you mix too much vampire's blood with the root of wormwood?!"

"You never went over it in class, _Professor_," Harry snapped. "I take it isn't good?"

"No! Just a drop more and the potion would've exploded and killed us both!"

Harry shrugged. "Well, it didn't explode, so stop griping. Now can I ask what I was going to?"

Severus sighed, cleaning up the now ruined potion. "Fine. Ask away."

"What potion are you working on?"

He received a glare. "You made me _ruin_ my potion just so you could know the name of it? Couldn't you have waited until I was finished or even asked before I started?"

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head no. "When you first start, I didn't care what you were working on. And as for waiting, I couldn't stand the silence for another second, much less for however long it would take you to complete it."

"_Abroxes Natomi._ It's a very complex potion that requires _constant_ attention."

"What does it do?"

"It increases a wizard's magical powers. The stronger the potion is, the longer it lasts, but it's never permanent."

"There's a potion to make a wizard stronger, and you made me defeat Voldemort, _when I was still a teenager_, with my limited powers?"

Severus refrained from rolling his eyes. "You beat him, didn't you?"

"After three years! It could've been much sooner! Less people would've died! Ron would…" His voice trailed off, his anger faded. If Severus had made him that potion to defeat Voldemort, Ron wouldn't have died. If Ron hadn't died, Harry wouldn't have ran away. If Harry hadn't have ran away, he would've never met Mathew.

"You didn't need the potion, Potter. You have more power than you realize. And the reason I didn't make the potion for you was because it's very addicting and too much of it can eat you from the inside out."

"Then why are you making it?"

"Are you wanting a complete lesson today? If I start on explaining it now, it could take a bit."

"Fine, I have time."

Severus hesitated, clearly thinking on whether he should venture into the world of potions with Harry when neither of them had even had supper yet. Finally, he nodded.

"The magic in a wizard's body has healing powers. What takes a muggle a week to heal from, we can heal in half that time. However, there are some things that our magic needs help with. Things that, even with magic, it could take years to heal, maybe longer.

"This potion is designed to strengthen the powers we have. What if someone were to find a way to make the potion less deadly? What if it could be used to increase the healing powers our bodies have? It hasn't been tried yet, because the potion is dangerous if it isn't given carefully, and with it being addicting, the people that you're trying to save could easily overdose and kill themselves without realizing what they're doing.

"The strange thing is, that none of the ingredients to it are deadly unless it's used inappropriately. I'm trying to learn which of the ingredients combined is the dangerous one. If I can find that out, then we could find something to replace one of the ingredients and make the potion less dangerous.

"If that happened, the people who were harmed in the war could take the potion and likely cure them." An almost wistful expression came to his face as he continued," Even babies who are born with disabilities could get better, could have normal lives."

Harry looked at him in surprised. _This is the cold hearted potions master that made my life at Hogwarts a living hell? He seems so…I guess _kind_ is the only word to describe it. _"How are you testing it?"

Severus looked at him in surprise, as though he had forgotten that Harry had been there, listening. "On plants. If it kills the plants, than it's obvious that it'll kill humans. Whenever I find one that doesn't kill the plant, which has only happened twice, I use it on sick rats. So far, it hasn't worked."

"I didn't realize that potions could help people so much. I just figured it was more like cooking. Follow the directions on the box, you know? I didn't think that so much time went into discovering the potions and learning how to make them better."

"Of course you didn't, Potter. You thought it was a waste of time, you didn't want to look at it as an art, as a way to save lives, end lives, or give happiness."

"You'll start teaching me tomorrow, right?"

"After lunch. I would've started today, but cleaning took longer than I thought it would. For now, though, _don't_ touch any of the potions or ingredients in here. A lot of them are deadly and I don't feel like brewing a potion to save your life."

Harry glared at him. "You hate me don't you?"

Severus glared back. "Of course."

"And hate can turn into love," Harry mumbled, meaning for Severus to hear, purposely baiting him.

"What did you say?" He asked eyes almost wide.

"Hate can turn into love. See, it's just like love. They're both a type of obsession with someone. You can start out loving someone and the obsession can make you see his or her faults and who they truly are, and then you might start to hate them. The same with hate. You think you know someone and it turns out you're completely wrong about them, and then you could start to fall in love. It happens all the time. Take Hermione and Draco for instance."

"Well, you won't have to worry about that with us. I could never fall in love with you."

"True enough. I don't think you have it in you to love…" His voice trailed off when he saw the look of anger on Severus's face.

"Don't _ever_ say that again. You don't know anything about me, Potter. Everyone is capable of love." He didn't say anything more, just turned of his heal and left the room.

Harry stayed there, thinking, for close to an hour. Wondering what exactly it had been that turned Severus so bitter. Finally, he went up to his room, passing by Severus's bedroom door, which was shut firmly and probably locked. From inside, he could thought he could hear the sound of something breaking, but it was so light and, when he didn't hear it again, he figured that it had just been his imagination.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Severus woke up with a pounding headache. When he opened his eyes, he had to squeeze them shut to keep out the light, but that only made it worse. Groaning, he threw a pillow over his head to block the light.

He could hear Harry downstairs, moving about and singing. He glanced at his clock and nearly flinched when he saw that it was close to noon. He hadn't slept in that late since he was a teenager at Hogwarts…he wasn't even sure he had slept in late then.

With a sigh, he felt for his wand on the bedside table, then gave it a little flick. He heard the curtains close and sat up, pillow dropping to the bed. The room wasn't too dark, but the curtains helped with the worse of the light.

He stood up and looked around. On the floor next to the chair in front of his fireplace was a empty bottle of fire whiskey. The dresser was cleared of all of its earlier possessions, having knocked them of in anger. Next to one of the walls, having been thrown clear across the room, was a picture from, the glass broken into small shards.

He knelt next to it, ignoring his headache, and began picking up the pieces. When a piece of glass cut into his finger, he scowled, biting back a curse.

He stood angrily and left the room, making his way towards the study. There, he saw Harry sitting in one of the chairs, reading…well, at least there was a book in his hands. His mind was clearly elsewhere, for his eyes drifted to the one window in the room and he was humming softly.

Severus went to one of the cabinets that he had put the potions he had made in and found two, one that would stop the bleeding and another for his hangover. He drunk them, put the vials on the desk, and turned to Harry, who didn't seem to notice that he'd had even came into the room.

"Potter, stop daydreaming."

Harry jumped in surprise and a light blush came to his cheeks. "Yes, Profess…Wait, we're not in class. Hell, I'm not even in Hogwarts! Don't do that! I can daydream all I want!"

Severus fought back a chuckle. He scowled at him, but there was a certain lightness in his dark eyes. "Whether or not you're in class, it's not wise to daydream. You loose track of yourself and anything could happen. I could've been a Death Eater out to kill you, and you wouldn't have even known I was in here. Stupid things like that will get you killed."

"Constant vigilance, in other words."

"Exactly. Now, do you want lunch?" The potion had taken an immediate effect on him and he felt close to his usual self…though he was still angry at Harry.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to go ahead and eat breakfast or not, since you were asleep, so I did without. What are you going to cook?"

"Nothing. You're cooking for me."

"But I made breakfast and supper yesterday!"

"And I'll make supper today, so you make lunch."

"And what about breakfast? You get one meal less than me."

"You should've woke me up."

"You're blaming this on _me_?"

"Of course, you're the one at fault."

"It's not my fault you overslept."

"Yes, it is."

"How?"

"That isn't any of your concern. Just accept it was your fault and go make lunch."

Harry glared at him, then a slow smile came to his face and he leaned back in his chair, resting his arms behind his head. "No."

"No?"

"No."

"Then you won't eat." He turned and left for the kitchen. He'd make his lunch, but Harry would have to make his own. A few minutes later, the smell of frying ham and rolls filled the room. Not to long after that, Harry came wondering into the kitchen, stomach growling, and sat down at the table.

"You're not eating much, are you? Just ham and a couple of rolls?"

He glanced over his shoulder at him. "If you're complaining about the lack of food, than you should've cooked something yourself."

"I'm not complaining," he said, standing up again. He started moving around the kitchen, fixing his own lunch. "And you're still cooking supper."

"Annoying little brat."

"Bitter old man."

They argued until both were sitting down at the table, plates in front of them.

"Shut up and eat, Potter."

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Draco stood in Severus's living room, listening to them arguing in the kitchen. Next to him, Hermione looked as though she wanted to charge in to protect Harry. He kept a firm hold on her elbow, though, preventing her from doing so.

"But Draco," she whispered, "What if one of them gets angry and they end up hurt?"

"They won't," he whispered back. "This is actually a good sign. They've been living together for a whole day and no one has died yet. Besides, you promised Harry you wouldn't bother him until Sunday. Be happy I let you come to check up on him, since you obviously don't believe me when I say that nothing is wrong."

"Something could happen in a matter of seconds," she argued back. "One of them _could've_ been hurt."

"But they weren't. Now come on." His hand slipped to her wrist and he pulled her towards the fireplace.

Before they flooed back home, though, Hermione asked, "Do you really think they can help each other?"

Draco nodded. "Severus can understand what Harry's going through. And Harry, there's just something about him that helps people heal, to make them become better people."

"It's his innocence. Even after everything that's happened to him, he's still a child at heart. A small child waiting for someone to love him without restraint."

"Come on, now, Hermione. We need to go before they realize we've been here."

"Alright," she said with a sigh. He through the powder into the fire, and they stepped into it, Draco wrapping his arms around her in a protective hug.

He kissed her quickly before saying, "Malfoy manor."

_**HPHPHPHP**_

I hoped you like it. I'll try to write up the next chapter soon, but I can't make any promises. School starts back in just over a week and I still have shopping to do. Plus, I have a bad sunburn and the pain takes away from my concentration. Well, review!


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own HP.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

The days past by slowly for Harry and Severus. They had developed a routine that made sure they rarely crossed paths when they weren't eating or Severus was giving Harry a potions lesson. Though their meals were often held in silence, and when they did speak it was to snap at the other person, their lessons could actually be seen as friendly.

Harry realized quickly that, though Severus had always wanted to teach Defense against the Dark Arts, Potions was what he really loved. Harry actually came to enjoy learning about them, now that Severus wasn't being rude and unbearable like he had been in the classes. He took the time to explain everything to Harry, who soon found that potions was something that, even if he wasn't perfect at it, he could drown himself into to keep himself busy and take his mind off the present.

After their first lesson, Severus learned that Harry was decent at potions, at least when he didn't have someone breathing down his back watching for the slightest mistake. He would explain the potion that he was teaching and the properties of the ingredients used, then would sit and watch from a distance as he gave Harry instructions.

They never once mentioned why Harry was there.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Harry groaned and pulled the covers over his head, trying to block out the light and go back to sleep. It was Sunday and he had promised Hermione and Draco that he would talk to them today, though it was the last thing he wanted to do.

He could already hear Hermione's voice downstairs and she spoke to Severus or Draco, whose voices were to low for him to make out which was which clearly. From the annoyance that showed in her voice, he knew she was trying to let them wake him up. He was thankful that they weren't letting her. He still wasn't ready to face everything. He needed more time, but knew that was something he wouldn't get.

With a sigh, he put his glasses on and climbed out of bed. After getting dressed in a pair of plain blue jeans and white t-shirt, he went downstairs, deciding it was better to get it over with than to keep postponing it. He looked around the corner, hoping that, for the moment, none of them noticed them.

Hermione sat next to Draco on the couch, glaring slightly at Severus. Her arms were crossed over her chest, only moving once to push Draco's arms off her shoulders.

"I've waited until today, just as Harry asked. You said that he went to bed early. He should be awake by now. More than likely, he's just pretending to be asleep to keep away from us."

"Hermione, you don't know that-"

"I love Harry like a brother, and I trust him with my life. But I know him well enough to know that he would want to keep putting this off. Planning the funeral would mean that he would have to acknowledge Mathew's death. That's the reason why he ran away after Ron died, he didn't want to deal with it."

Harry's cheeks turned red with anger and he stepped into the room. "I've dealt with Ron's death! I'm not pretending it didn't happen, just like I'm not pretending Mathew didn't die!"

Hermione looked up at him in surprise. "Harry, I didn't know-"

"Of course you didn't know I was listening."

"I didn't mean to-"

Harry sighed, shaking his head. "Hermione, I didn't run because of Ron's death. Yeah, I knew it would be harder to stay where he had been. To visit the Weasley's and know that I wouldn't see him again. But I left because I knew that everyone would expect me to help clean up afterwards, to help get rid of the left over Death Eaters. All I wanted was a _normal_ life away from being famous and having people's expectations thrown onto me. Mathew gave me that."

Hermione stood up and went to hug Harry. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything."

He hugged her back. "I really have missed you. I didn't mean any of the things I said at the apartment."

"I know." She pulled away. "I liked Mathew a lot. He was nice. I wish I could've gotten to know him."

Harry nodded. "He would've driven you up the wall, though. He would've liked you, though. And Ron. He would've liked Ron, too."

He turned to Draco, who stood up. "Ready?"

"No, but it's gotta be done."

He followed Draco to the kitchen, away from Severus and Hermione.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Severus sighed as he stood up to go to the study. Hermione glanced at him.

"Severus?"

"What?"

"Are you sure you don't mind letting Harry stay here? The two of you don't get along too well and…"

"And that's exactly what he needs. If he were to live with you and Draco, you would treat him like a child. He needs to be around someone who doesn't dote upon him, who treats him like they treated him before he ran away."

Hermione turned away to look out a window. Outside, two children were playing on the street, their voice's carrying loudly. A soft smile came to her face as she watched them.

"You haven't told Draco yet, have you?" Severus asked, seeing what she was looking at.

Not taking her eyes off the children, she shook her head. "I was going to the other day, but I found out about what happened to Mathew and that he knew about it. I couldn't tell him while I was angry."

"You need to tell him soon. It'll make him happy…and I think it would make Potter a bit happy to learn that you're pregnant."

"You think so?"

Severus nodded. "I can only give him a way to vent his anger. He needs someone to make him happy though. It's too soon for him to find someone else to love, if he ever does. But knowing that, even though Mathew's life has ended, someone else's has began could give him hope."

She looked over her shoulder at him, a small smile playing on her lips. "I had thought that nothing about you could surprise me anymore. I thought I'd be used to the fact that you're not as coldhearted as you act, but I guess I was wrong."

Shaking his head, Severus turned to leave. "It's never been an act, Hermione. I just help those who are close to Draco."

He left the room, but not before he heard her say, "I don't believe that. And one of these days, you'll realize it isn't true, too."

In his study, he fell onto the couch that sat against one of the walls. Closing his eyes, he tried to keep all thoughts out of his mind, but couldn't. What Hermione said wasn't true. He had seen too much, done too many things, to be what she imagined he was. The only things he had felt in the years after Nathan's death was anger and hatred. At least, until Draco was born. Draco was more than a godson to him. He was like a real son to him.

He only gave Hermione advice because it was what Draco needed him to do. He only took Harry in because it was what Hermione needed, and what Hermione needed was what Draco wanted. No matter what she wanted to believe, he _was_ coldhearted.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

When Draco and Hermione left that night, Harry was exhausted. He and Draco had discussed everything about the funeral, and when that was finally over with, Hermione insisted on keeping him company. She filled Harry in on everything that had been going on since he'd left and insisted on Harry telling her about his life with Mathew.

Harry looked over at Severus, who sat comfortably in one of the parlor chairs, head resting against its back. He took the time to stare at the older man without his knowing, and a shock came to him as he did. For the first time, Harry didn't see him as his hated potions professor, but as just a normal man. It seemed that, outside of Hogwarts, away from the constant fumes of his student's potions, his hair wasn't as greasy, but had a slight shine to it from being washed maybe a little too well. He didn't were his normal wizard robes, but instead a pair of plain black pants and a dark green shirt. What shocked him was that Severus actually looked…well, good.

Harry quickly jumped up, looking away from Severus. The action caused Severus to open his eyes and look at him. "Going to bed already, Potter?"

Harry nodded, glad that Severus had come up with an excuse for him. "Yeah. It's been a long day. I don't think I can stay awake for much longer."

Severus stared at him for a moment before saying, "I should've realized that it would be too soon."

Shaking his head, Harry disagreed. "I would've had to do it sooner or later anyway. Besides, I don't think I would've ever been ready."

Severus stood up. "Go on up to bed, Potter. Everything will be better after a good night's rest."

Harry gave him a small smile before leaving the room. In his room, he went to the window and looked outside. The night was clear, the stars shining brightly through the window, casting a bit of light into the dark room. Down on the streets, he could see a few families walking towards their homes after spending the day together.

Turning away quickly, he shed his clothes and lay down on the bed. Though his body was tired, his mind refused to rest. He was glad he had talked to Hermione about the years he spent with Mathew. She hadn't interrupted or even looked the tiniest bit shocked at some of the things Harry had said about him. She had just sat there, listening, until Harry finally broke down into tears. Then she took him in her arms and comforted him while both Severus and Draco hurried out of the room.

Now that everything was calm again, he remembered the few times that they had fights. It was always about how Harry wouldn't tell him about his past. Harry knew that Mathew wouldn't have made a big deal about him being a wizard and that he would actually agree with Harry that they shouldn't have thrown so much onto a young boy's shoulders. It was everything concerning the Dursley's that he hadn't wanted to tell him.

In his eyes, Mathew had been so innocent, so untroubled by everything that happened in the world. He knew that wasn't really true, but he still thought of him that way. If Mathew had learned how Harry's only relatives had treated him, a part of that innocence would disappear from him, never able to return.

Harry knew that, if he had told him about his time in the Wizarding World, Mathew would want to know more. He'd want to know about Harry's life before everything was happy. And though those years at Hogwarts were hard and so many horrible things had happened, he was happy there. Almost as happy as he had been with Mathew.

Now he wished he had told Mathew. There was a chance that, if he had, everything would be different now. If Mathew had known about Harry's life in the Wizarding world, if he had known that there was a chance that not every Death Eater was caught, then maybe he would've been more careful. Maybe Mathew would still be alive now, laughing at how close he had come to death.

Or maybe he would've left Harry. Maybe he would've thought that Harry had lost his mind and sent him to some institution…though that scenario was very unlikely. Mathew believed in everything that muggles thought were myths.

With a sigh, Harry buried his face into his pillow and cried himself to sleep.

_**HPHPHPHPHP**_

Severus stood just outside Harry's door, listening. At first there was silence, only the rustling of Harry getting ready for bed and the creaking of the mattress. Then the soft sound of sobs trying to be covered up came to him.

He stood there for a moment, closing his eyes. After he had lost Nathan, the only person he'd ever truly loved, he had never wanted to see it happen to anyone else. Now, here he was, with a heartbroken boy (he'd probably always consider Harry a boy) living with him. He had no clue about what to do with him, how to help him move on.

When Alan had died, Severus had been alone. He hadn't had anyone to talk to and he hadn't wanted anyone there with him. A lot of good it had done him. If he had let someone help him all those years ago, he'd probably know how to help Harry.

Hermione, no matter that her intentions were good, didn't understand what Harry was going through. She had lost Ron, but she had the whole Weasley family and Draco (after a while) help her to cope. She would expect him to grieve after Mathew the way she had grieved after Ron, by talking about him, always thinking about him.

Harry didn't need that. While he needed to remember Mathew and talk about him, he also needed to get away from everything, to find peace. He'd never be able to have it if everyone keeps showing up and getting in the way.

Opening his eyes, he sighed and went to his room to think. There had to be some way to keep Hermione satisfied that Harry was making progress, but still giving Harry the space he needed while not over doing it.

_**HPHPHPHPHP**_

The next morning found Harry pacing his room restlessly. He had yet to get dressed for the day, though he had been up for hours, before the sun had even risen.

His night had been filled with bad dreams, where he could almost smell the blood and sweat from years of fighting against Voldemort. The same dreams he had had as a boy in Hogwarts. Now, though, there was a new one. Now he was forced to watch as Mathew died again and again as he slept. It seemed that he was destined to live his life never forgetting his pain.

When he heard Severus moving around in the kitchen fixing breakfast, he finally pushed himself to get dressed. He went to the kitchen and sat at the table, head resting on his arms. He watched Severus as he put a simple breakfast together.

As soon as a plate of eggs and toast, smothered with butter, was set in front of him, Harry picked up his fork and took a bite, only to wrinkle his nose. "You did something to it. It doesn't taste right."

Severus looked up from where he had sat and glared. He took a bite of his own eggs and shrugged. "It tastes fine to me."

Harry picked up a piece of toast and pushed the plate away. He nibbled at the toast before putting it back on the plate in distaste.

For a brief moment, concern flashed on Severus's face, but he quickly pushed it away. "You need to eat, Potter."

Harry shook his head, looking anywhere but at the plate of food, his face taking on a greenish tint. "I'm not really that hungry," he answered, pushing his chair back and quickly leaving the kitchen, not bothering to clean his plate up.

He ran to the bathroom and found himself bending over the toilet, sick. When it finally passed and he brought himself to get up to rinse his mouth out, a knock sounded on the door. "What?" he called voice hoarse.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked.

Spitting the water that was in his mouth out, he snapped, "No."

For a moment, Severus didn't say anything. Then, "Can I come in?"

Harry opened the door, brushing past him. "It's your house. Do what you want."

Severus started after him, a strange look on his face. "Are you sick?"

Rolling his eyes, Harry turned around to face him, laughing slightly. "Am I sick? What does it look like? I'm throwing up, I can't eat. Of course I'm sick." Severus moved closer to him, placing a hand on his forehead, causing Harry to flinch a bit. "What are you doing?"

"You don't have a fever," Severus replied removing his hand. "But you look a bit pale." His eyes narrowed slightly. "How do you feel?"

Harry sighed in frustration. "Nauseous, light headed."

"Nothing else?"

"Nope."

"Go lie down for a little while. I'll bring some crackers up for you to eat; it should calm your stomach."

Nodding, Harry went to his room and lay on the bed. A few minutes later, Severus was there with a box of crackers. Harry at them slowly as Severus watched him.

"You don't have to stand over me, you know."

Ignoring the statement, Severus moved closer to the bed. "Was Mathew a wizard?"

"Muggle."

"Are you sure?"

"He wouldn't have been so curious about my past if he had been. Besides, he would've told me if he had been."

"You didn't tell him that you were," Severus pointed out.

Harry sat the box down on the bed next to him, crossing his arms. "Why do you want to know if Mathew was a wizard or not? It's not important."

"I'm going to make a potion. I'll need you to drink it after it's finished."

"What does the potion do?"

"It examines the body, sees if there's any…unexpected changes to it. Nothing to worry about, it's used all the time on witches and wizards."

"If it's so helpful, why don't you already have some ready?"

For the first time in years, a real laugh came from Severus. "Potter, I haven't had a need for the potion since I was about your age. Draco and Hermione probably have some left over at their manor, but it'll be quicker just to whip the potion up myself. It'll only take half an hour."

Harry nodded hesitantly, having no choice but to trust that Severus was doing what was in his best interest. "Alright."

"Eat some more crackers, Potter. If you need anything, holler." With that said, he left the room.

After doing as Severus said and eating a few more crackers, he picked up Mathew's diary, which lay on the table next to his bed. Staring at it, he sighed. Since he had first brought it out of his suitcase, he had debated over whether or not he should read it. In all their time together, Mathew had always told Harry what went on while Harry was away from him, keeping no secrets from him that Harry knew of. His only request, though, was that Harry not read the diary.

For Mathew to ask that of Harry in the beginning of their relationship hadn't seem strange; after all, no one wanted someone poking through their private life. But once they had gotten to know each other and Harry learned that Mathew was too talkative to actually keep secrets, it didn't make sense. Harry had never let the thought actually take root in his mind, though, just ignored it for the most part.

Now, though, he was curious as to what Mathew was hiding in the pages of the small pink book. It didn't seem right, though, for him to break his promise, even if Mathew was no longer there to get angry if he did. He didn't want to betray Mathew by breaking that one promise he had made.

With a sigh, he stuck the diary in the drawer of the table, putting it out of sight. Out of mind.

When Severus came back in his room, a goblet of a strange purplish potion in his hands, he sat up straighter. Severus handed him the goblet. He hesitated before downing the potion in a gulp, nearly choking at the bitter taste it left in his mouth.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then a pinkish glow came from his stomach, drawing his and Severus's attention to it.

Harry looked from it to Severus's strained face.

"What is it?" He asked worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

Severus drew his eyes away from the pink glow, which was starting to fade, and looked at Harry's face. "Mathew _was_ a wizard."

"No he wasn't."

Severus shook his head. "Only a wizard can get another wizard pregnant, Harry," he said, not noticing he'd used Harry's given name. "Unless you cheated on him-"

"I did not cheat!" Then his already pale face lost whatever color it had regained during his rest. "What do you mean that only a wizard can get another wizard pregnant? That's impossible."

"You're a month or two along, Harry. You're going to have a baby."

Harry put his hands on his stomach. "How?"

"It's the magic in you. It's able to support the baby, give it what it needs to survive inside of you. Unlike a woman's body, yours isn't built to keep the baby. But the magic has the ability to change you, in a manner of speaking. There'll be a few differences between your pregnancy and the birth than what a woman goes through, but the symptoms and stages are the same."

Harry looked at Severus. "Mathew was a wizard?"

Severus nodded. "It's the only way you would have gotten pregnant."

Suddenly, Harry's eyes narrowed. "Out of all the things that could have made me sick, the first thing that pops into your head is that I'm pregnant? Why the hell did that even cross your mind when you _supposedly _knew that Mathew was a muggle? I lived with the man for years and I never once thought he was anything but a muggle. After meeting him _once_, what made you think he was?"

"Nothing. He appeared to be a muggle to me."

"Then why?"

"Seemed like the logical explanation. You weren't showing signs of being even the tiniest bit ill until you tried to eat."

"Why didn't you tell me what the potion _really_ did?"

"You wouldn't have taken it."

Harry glared at him. "Out."

"Har-"

"OUT! NOW!"

Severus sighed and left the room, realizing that the best thing Harry needed at the moment was to be left alone. He closed the door behind him and went downstairs.

Harry stared down at his stomach again. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to calm himself. He had no choice now. Mathew had kept the fact that he was a wizard from Harry and it ended up with Harry alone and pregnant. He had to know what other secrets Mathew had kept from him. He brought out the diary once again and opened it to the first page and began to read.

_**HPHPHPHPHP**_

Wow…I didn't decide that Mathew was a wizard until a few days ago, and now Harry's pregnant. I wasn't really expecting to add that. I hope no one's upset about the m-preg thing. If so, too bad, 'cause I'm not taking it out. I haven't decided if it will be a boy or a girl, so if you have an opinion to the sex and a name, tell me. Which ever sex is wanted more, that's what I'll use, and the name I like the most will be the one used. Well, I hope you like it. Review and tell me what you think!


	8. Chapter 7

_**Entry 1 (a month after Harry moved in with Mathew)**_

_I did just as Uncle Sirius asked me to. When word came to me that Harry had runaway from the Wizarding World, I went to search for him. It wasn't long before I learned that he was living on the streets. It was harder to find him though. When I did, he was in such bad shape. Uncle Sirius had always told me that Harry was small, but the weeks that he hadn't had a good meal had seriously done him in. I lead him to believe that I was muggle, since he didn't seem to want anything to do with wizards, and gave him a place to live. _

_It wasn't long after I found him that Bellatrix wrote to me for help tracking him down. Though I told her that I would look around, I refuse to let her get to him. What made her think that I would actually help her after she killed my uncle is a mystery. I mean, just because my dad and he weren't close when they were alive doesn't mean that I felt the same way about him. Besides, there's something about Harry, something that I hadn't expected. I like him, more than I had thought I would. _

_Uncle Sirius had said that Harry was sweet, loyal, a true Gryffindor. That he was noble to the last. I just hadn't expected it to be so true. Though I had set out to rescue him, from the very first he did everything he could to protect me, even if I didn't need it. The only way I could be happier is if I didn't have to lie. I hope that if he ever learns the truth, that he'll be able to forgive me. _

_I know he's not ready for anything more than friendship, so I'll have to wait…something I'm really not good at. He tends to tense up whenever I come close to him. I hope that its sexual frustration, but I doubt it. It's like he's afraid of me, even though it's obvious he likes me, at least as a friend. _

_**Entry 16 (Nearly 2 years later)**_

_I haven't heard from Bella in almost a year. I guess she gave up on me finding him. I hope she's given up on trying to find him. He deserves better than to be hunted like some animal. I didn't think I could come to love him so much._

_It took me so long to get him to actually trust me. He pretended to at first, probably so he wouldn't hurt my feelings, but he was never really comfortable around me until the past few months. I guess he's finally realized that I wouldn't leave him or hurt him intentionally…or whatever else he worries about. He used to come close to bolting out of the room whenever I so much as looked at him, kind of like a frightened kitten._

_I'm glad I waited for him to get used to me. We started dating about a month ago, and finally slept together last night…he's great in bed. He also didn't refuse to do most of the things I suggested…even the most insane of them. I hope it's always like this. A lot of the guys I used to date looked at me like I was insane when I asked if we could do it on the kitchen table…and the bathroom counter…and the balcony…not to mention wearing matching underwear the next day. He did look a bit shocked at first, then he began to laugh when he agreed._

_**Entry 37 (One week before attack)**_

_Bella finally owled me. She said that they were closing in on Harry's trail, even without my _help_. I had thought that I'd covered our tracks, but I think she suspects he's with me. I know I need to warn him, but I'd have to tell him the truth and I know he'd be angry with me. _

_I should have told him that I was a wizard long ago. He'll find out soon anyway…I think he's pregnant. The past month he's been a little moody…well, more than a little, really. It might be nothing, though. He's going through a hard time at work trying to get promoted. It could just be stress…I hope._

_I wouldn't mind having a baby, but it would put a strain on our relationship. There's a chance he might leave me if he were to learn about the lies. He'd make a good parent though._

_There's no way to give him the potion to find out if he is without him realizing that I'm a wizard. I'm gonna have to tell him soon. I just have to find the right time. If I haven't found the right time by the end of next week, I'll just come out and say it. "Harry, I'm a wizard and you might be pregnant." Just like that…well, I might order a pizza, buy some wine, and put out candles to soften him up. It usually works. _

_The thing that worries me is that if Bella really does suspect he's with me, why would she say that she's closing in on him? It doesn't make sense. She has to have something planned. I just hope Harry will be okay._

Harry threw the journal across the room, watching as it hit the wall and fell to the floor with a loud _thud_, tears rolling down his eyes.

In the beginning, he'd been afraid of getting close to Mathew in case he had to leave him. Run away in case someone found him. He'd thought that he'd hidden most of his fears from Mathew. It upset him to know that he'd been seen through.

Not only that, but Mathew had lied to him for years. He only planned to tell Harry him because he suspected the pregnancy. It was no wonder Mathew never wanted him to read the diary. He held nothing back when he wrote in it. He didn't bother to hide anything. He hadn't even locked it, magically or normally.

The thought of just anyone coming along and reading what Mathew had written had him even angrier. By not realizing what Mathew was, Harry had been made a fool of.

Now that he thought of it, there had been so many clues. Whenever Harry had called him in need, it only took seconds for Mathew to show, though he said he was "just around the corner". How he had never burnt down the house when he tried to cook while Harry was out. And, most important, how things they "needed" that was across the room suddenly appeared next to them. Harry was sure that he hadn't used his own magic for that.

Burying his head in his hands, the tears started to flow faster, sobs tearing out of his throat. He bit down on his thumb until the metallic taste of his blood filled his mouth, hoping to stop the noise.

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Severus stood outside Harry's bedroom door, a dark frown on his face. He'd been standing in the same place for the past thirty minutes, and Harry had only just begun to cry…and throw something. He hoped that nothing important ended up breaking before the end of Harry's grieving.

With a sigh, he went downstairs. He'd have to wait until Harry calmed down before discussing what the boy wanted to do with the baby.

At that thought, Severus let out a loud and very uncharacteristic, "SHIT!"

A grieving boy he can deal with as long as he stayed out of the way. A temperamental pregnant man who was also grieving, maybe. But a baby? There were so many things that could go wrong. Before the birth there could be a miscarriage, or it could be a still-born. Afterward, Harry could find out that the baby might have a serious disease, that he or she wouldn't live too long, and if he/she did, then there could be so many problems that couldn't be cured.

Having a baby around the house would also be a constant reminder about what he had lost. Nathan had died giving birth to Severus's daughter. Severus had thought that having Elizabeth would ease the pain of losing his love, like he'd have a piece of Nathan with him always. But it didn't work out that way. Elizabeth had been born two months early. After two long weeks of waiting in St. Mungo's, she also died because of low nutrients. No matter what the healers tried they couldn't get her to eat enough to survive. It had been like she knew her "mother" had left her.

He collapsed on the living room couch, close to tears for the first time in a long time. His breathing was coming in short gasps and he knew that if he didn't calm down he'd really begin to panic, possibly even pass out. Just thinking about it made him dizzy.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there, near panicking, but it felt like hours. He was so out of it, in fact, that it wasn't until cold water hit his face that he came back to reality with Harry standing over him, wand pointed at his face.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Snape?"

Severus looked at him in confusion for a moment before his face clouded over and his emotionless mask fell into place. "Did you need something?" He looked at Harry closely, noticing that the boy's eyes were red and puffy, full of misery. Severus decided to forget that he'd just had water squirted in his face.

Harry plopped down on the couch next to him, resting his head in his hands in exhaustion. "What am I going to do?"

"What would Mathew want you to do?"

"He wanted me to have it."

"He knew?"

Harry nodded slightly, "He suspected, though he wasn't completely sure."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I'm just not sure." His voice was choked, and Severus suspected that he was crying again. "I don't know anything about having a baby, and I've never been around children. How will I support it? I don't have a job anymore, and there's not a lot that I know how to do."

Severus tried not to roll his eyes. "Calm down. Everything's going to be okay. There are plenty of things you can do to earn money. Besides, Hermione will help you. And because Hermione will help, you have Draco there for you too. You're not alone in this. No matter what, someone will be there to help you."

At first, Severus didn't think that Harry would speak. Then he asked in a voice so quiet that Severus almost didn't hear him, "Even you?"

He hesitated, knowing that his decision would bind him to Harry until the boy didn't need his help anymore. He'd have to always be there by his side. It might not be a magical binding, but Severus's honor, what little of it he had left after the war with Voldemort, wouldn't allow him to break a promise to anyone. Besides, many people would take advantage of a promise like that. But if he said no, it would mean he was a coward, because only a coward would abandon a boy when he needed help the most.

So Severus said just as softly, "Even me, Potter. For as long as you need me around."

Harry gave a small smile of relief. "Thank you, Severus."

The sound of his given name coming from Harry's lips shocked Severus, causing him to look down at the younger man. There were dark circles beneath his eyes, showing that he hadn't had a decent nights sleep in who knows how long. Where he had once walked the halls of Hogwarts confidently, now his shoulders were slumped, as though the world had thrown one too many things at him.

Without thinking, Severus reached out and cupped Harry's chin, gently making the younger man look at him. "Everything will be fine Harry. You'll be a great dad, and you'll be able to give your child everything that you never had."

Harry fought the tears back as he placed his hands on his stomach. "But he won't have Mathew there, he won't have his other dad. I know how hard it is to grow up not knowing a parent. I never wanted a child to have to go through what I went through."

"You'll have the memories of Mathew to tell him. He may not know his dad, but you can make sure that he knows about him. Through you, he'll know that Mathew was a good man, someone he could be proud of."

Harry shook his head. "I can't do it on my own. Having Hermione, Draco, and you there won't be the same as having someone there to help me raise him. Even if I thought I could love someone as much as I loved Mathew, how many men would willingly raise someone else's child?"

Severus didn't answer him because Harry had a point. Few wizards accepted another man's child. Many, especially Purebloods, would rather see their line die out than give an unrelated child their last name and the chance to lead their family. Harry had been lucky to become friends with the Weasley children, for Molly and Arthur had always been the kind of people who took in those who needed help. They would have been happy to adopt Harry if it hadn't have been for Dumbledore's objection to the idea. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted Harry to have a happier life, but that the spell that protected him only worked with blood relatives.

Instead, he pulled Harry into his arms, the brunette's head resting against his shoulder. At first Harry stiffened, but quickly relaxed. "Why are you doing this for me?" He asked softly.

For a moment, Severus didn't say anything, causing Harry to look up at him. Severus stared down at him, his eyes clouded with the pain of his memories. "Because I know what you're going through better than anyone. I know how much it hurts; I know what you're going through. You'll never really get rid of the pain over loosing Mathew, you'll always love him. The most you can do right now is take life a day at a time. Think of the good memories, not the bad. Don't hold Mathew's lie against him. He knew you weren't ready to learn he was a wizard.

His grip tightened around Harry, ever slightly, a single hand coming to rest on Harry's stomach. "Your baby will be a part of him. If nothing else, he _did_ give you someone else to love, too take care of."

Harry nodded, wiping away the tears that had slipped from his eyes. "You're right," he whispered. I know you are. But it's still hard I lived with him for years, and I never had a clue that I was being lied to. It's not that I hate him for lying to me. I hate myself for being a fool. I spent years learning between reality and lies under your tutelage. Yet I let him trick me so easily, just because I didn't want to see it. There were so many signs, so many times when he did magic around me and I purposely ignored it, putting it to the back of my mind."

Severus couldn't hide the amusement in his voice as he said, "So it's a blow to your ego that's got you all worked up?"

Harry laughed slightly, his eyes still watery. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." He sighed and pulled away from Severus. "I'm sorry to do this to you. I know you don't enjoy _baby-sitting_," he spat the word out, "me. And I know that I can be difficult to deal with at times. I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you're doing for me."

"It's no problem, Harry. If it were, you wouldn't be here."

_**HPHPHPHPHP**_

Draco and Hermione sat across from each other at their dining room table. The blonde wasn't sure what was going on, but the seriousness on his wife's face scared him more than he cared to admit. He knew she wasn't upset; otherwise her eyes would be flashing. At the moment they were soft, warm, the color of chocolate.

He sat there and stared at her, not touching his food, but preferring to watch as she ate. There was something different about her. She seemed happier, more enthused, than she had been since learning of Mathew's death and Harry being moved in with Severus. She…glowed. There wasn't any other word for it. Noticing the change, he relaxed and smiled as he watched her take a bite of grapefruit. His eyes widened, she hated grapefruit. But she seemed to be enjoying it, even craving it.

"Umm…Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Wasn't there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

She grinned at him and said, "I'm pregnant," before taking another bite.

Draco didn't move, couldn't speak, for a moment. Then he let out a loud "YES! How long have you known? How many months?" as he jumped out of his chair and ran to her. She laughed as he pulled her out of her chair and spun her around.

"Three months, and I only just learned for certain a few weeks ago."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked as he set her feet back to the floor.

"At first I wasn't ready, so many things can go wrong in the first trimester, and I didn't want you to get you hopes up only for nothing. Then everything with Harry happened, and I just felt that he needed our attention and that telling about the baby would make things harder."

Draco wrapped an arm around her waist, letting his free hand rest on her stomach. "A baby," he whispered. "I can't believe it."

"You better start believing," she laughed. "I'm not going to be the only one waking up in the middle of the night to change the diapers."

He smiled at her. "I never dreamed you would."

_**HPHPHPHP**_

Bellatrix glared around her living room at the small group of Death Eaters that had managed to survive the war and stay out of Azkaban. They were a disheveled group, in a disheveled house far away from any towns and people. It was far from the luxury that she was used to, but while the aurors and that deluded Order of the Phoenix was still looking for her, she had to make do with whatever she could lay her hands on.

That didn't mean, however, that she had to be happy with it. She was far from being happy. The Death Eater's, once a strong proud group, was now incompetent…not that they hadn't made mistakes when they were following the Dark Lord. It's just that she hadn't really noticed it as much when she, too, had been following her beloved Voldemort. But now that she was in charge, now that everyone answered to her, she was nearly driven insane from the many times she had to go behind them and clean up their mess.

All she wanted was for that brat, Potter, to die by her own hand. Was that so much ask? Was vengeance against the boy who had killed the only man she had ever loved too farfetched? She didn't think so, and nothing would stop her from killing Potter and making the Dark Lord's dream of ruling the wizarding world and wiping out muggles and mudbloods come true. She would see to it that everyone who had had a hand in her Lords demise would pay dearly. They would regret the part they played. She would see to it that they would beg for her forgiveness, beg for mercy.

"Crabbe!" She snapped. The oaf hurried towards her, dropping to the ground in front of her.

"Mistress?"

She smiled down at him, the corner of her lips twisting in that eerie way that made even the bravest of men tremble with fear, and Crabbe wasn't brave in the least. She could smell his fear, knew that he was close to running from the room screaming.

"How is your mission coming along?"

He began to fidget. "Fine, Mistress."

"Fine? That's all you have to say to me?" Her eyes narrowed as she grabbed her wand and pointed it at Crabbe. "Crucio!" She watched with pleasure as he withered with pain in front of her, his screams echoing around her. From the corner of her eye, she could see the other Death Eater's wince. When she finally eased the curse, she asked softly, "Now, how is your mission going?"

"Our spy will soon close in on Potter, Mistress," he gasped out. "I'm sure he will not disappoint you."

"Splendid. Now leave."

"Yes, Mistress."

He left quickly, afraid that she'd call him back if he stayed in her sight any longer than necessary. Her mood a bit better, she sat down on her ratty couch like a queen and surveyed the small crowd for her next victim.

* * *

I wanted to get this chapter up a while back, but I kinda got stuck around page three and couldn't think of how to proceed, though I'm happy with how it turned out. I've already got bits and pieces of the next chapter figured out (I'm trying not to think too much on it, though, since I prefer to let have some things be surprises for me. I usually don't plan out anything but the most basic idea). I hope ya'll liked it...at least enough to drop a review.


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